It sure seems like Dwyane Wade rigged the Dunk Contest

Aaron Gordon and Derrick Jones Jr. were supposed to tie in this year’s Slam Dunk Contest but someone *cough probably Dwayne Wade* screwed it up.

If there’s one thing this year’s Slam Dunk Contest will be remembered for, it’s controversy.

Aaron Gordon, who was essentially flawless in his dunk execution, lost by one point to Derrick Jones Jr, who was equally as flawless. As the two squared off in a Dunk Off, all anyone could say about what we were witnessing was that the only logical conclusion to the night was a tie between both players.

Apparently, that was going to happen until someone screwed it all up. According to Common, he and the judges were all in agreement that the result of the Dunk Contest was going to be a tie. He claimed to not know who went rogue but it was probably Dwyane Wade.

If people want a Slam Dunk Contest conspiracy theory, let’s have ourselves a damn conspiracy.

Okay, let’s do this: What’s the Dunk Contest Conspiracy?

Both Jones and Gordon went to a Dunk-Off with tied scores and both cycled through their first round of bonus dunks with perfect scores. Because they were tied, they both needed to do one more dunk which would determine a winner.

Jones went first, and despite the judges handing out 10s like Halloween candy, he received two nines and three tens as his final score. If what Common said is true, that meant that two judges needed to give nines to Gordon to balance the scores.

Gordon got two nines, which is in line with the theory that two judges who didn’t give 10s to Jones gave 10s to Gordon and vice versa. The problem is there are five judges on the panel and either someone didn’t get the message right or someone went rogue — because Gordon received three votes of 9-points.

All of this is putting aside the fact that Gordon cleared a guy who is 7-foot-5.

Therefore, he lost the Dunk Contest by one point.

So wait, how do we know it was D-Wade?

The working theory is Derrick Jones Jr plays for the Miami Heat, meaning he’s part of Wade’s crew. Like The Godfather taught us, never go against the family which when applied to the Dunk Contest makes Wade the easy choice for determining who screwed up.

Of course, if the idea was to give a tie to the two dunkers, why not clear this up in real-time?

And in D-Wade’s defense, the collusion was sort of convoluted so it’s not hard to argue that he simply got his wires crossed. It all happened really quickly so this could be the result of an innocent mistake.

Nah, it was probably the first reason

Yeah, D-Wade totally screwed this up to help a fellow Heat guy out.

Also, Wade’s fellow judges are stopping short of naming names:

In D-Wade’s mind, this was simple: Accidentally mishear how the vote is going to work, be the third vote of 9 and then your guy wins. Since an admission of collusion would be needed to out you as the dissenting vote, no one will ever know. Then, in all the commotion, swiftly make your exit.

The perfect crime.

But we can’t throw furniture into a pool yelling about how there’s no loyalty in the NBA anymore and then kill a guy for “accidentally” screwing up a vote that helps one of his guys win the Dunk Contest.

D-Wade, your secret is safe with us.