Ice Cold Takes is a weekly humor column focused on what is trending around the NHL. This one is all about Philly.
Throughout the week, if I see a NHL clip on Twitter or Instagram, Iāll bookmark it or send it to myself. On Friday, I scroll through the clips, pick my favorite Bruins one and then try to think of things to write about the others. Itās that simple.
This week, without noticing, just about every saved clip came from a Philadelphia Flyers game. It wasnāt intentional, as my dislike for the Flyers runs about as deep as the deepest point of the Schuylkill River (In Philly, for those not catching on).
Speaking of the Schuylkill River, when googling its depth, an auto-fill appeared in regards to whether or not it was safe to swim in. This was the answer:
āAnd yes, you can goĀ swimming in the Schuylkill ⦠Despite the occasional dead body floating along beside you, theĀ Schuylkill RiverĀ can actually be a rather fun body of water.ā
Philly, manā¦
Kevin Hayes, undisputed champion
Thereās a building in Philadelphia with āBoner 4-Everā and āForever bonerā spray painted on it. Itās been around so long that people in Philly use it when giving directions. Recently, Marriot bought the building, which led to a lot of concerned citizens in this great city.
Hereās a clip of Kevin Hayes being Kevin Hayes.
Yes, people are fighting for āboner foreverā to remain as part of the renovations, as if this is some sort of heritage site. The buildings designers are taking it seriously, too. According to the projectās interior designers, āāBoner foreverā has been a part of every presentation.ā
The firm continued, saying things such as āWe are figuring out a way to appropriately pay homage,ā and āItās so important to the building. Weāre incorporating it into the overall project in various ways.ā
IS IT? Is it really āso importantā to incorporate āboner foreverā into your project? I must admit, I love this story but it seems ridiculous that you have a man in Scottsdale who was recently arrested by 25 heavily armed SWAT members for a similar reason (we are all penis man) while the new Philly Marriot is looking for ways to properly incorporate āboner foreverā into one of their projects. Amazing.
A tale of two Giroux
Claude Giroux is a lot of things. Most prominently, he is a great NHL hockey player. Least prominently, he is from Hearst, Ontario ā a small town North of civilization that would be greatly improved if āboner foreverā was spray painted on every building.
Hereās Giroux making a great play from his knees on Tuesday night.
https://twitter.com/NHLGIFs/status/1229954636284669953
Here he is again, on Thursday night, being brought down by a man who Claude is still taller than if he is on his knees.
Props to Nathan Gerbe. Heās 5ā4ā³ but he dropped Giroux and immediately won the ensuing fight against Travis Sanheim. Gerbe has as much resilience as boner graffiti in Philly. Heās not going anywhere!
Gritty
The saga continues. Gritty is so soft that he doesnāt deserve to reside in the same city as the great āboner foreverā building. He recently set up a fake investigation into himself to try to keep his tough guy image in-tact. It didnāt work.
You know how I know this was fake? Throughout the entire legal process, Gritty was referred to as āGrittyā in the articles, documents, etc, as if he was not a human inside a costume. If the alleged incident was real, āGrittyā wouldnāt be the person in question. The NHL also said nothing about this through the entire process.
Looking past his fake toughness, heās now dipping into the world of trendy reality television to boost his reach and social impressions. Who would do such a thing?
Love you, Philly. Keep your head up.