News got out that Joe Burrow has tiny hands at the combine. Well, those tiny hands were good enough to carry LSU to a national title and win the Heisman.
So Joe Burrow‘s got these tiny hands…
The 2019 Heisman Trophy winner got his paws measured at the NFL Scouting Combine on Monday. With visions of leaving Death Valley for The Jungle, The Geauxt almost had to sacrifice his dream of being the Bengals’ top banana. How was he going to carry an NFL franchise with the mitts of a pre-adolescent male?
Unlike Trent Reznor, he was not blessed with Nine Inch Nails, only nine-inch hands. He may have achieved something closer to god status in Baton Rouge than anyone before him, but Burrow knew he hurt himself [Monday] at the combine. It was such a devastating blow to his meteoric rise atop draft boards that he even contemplated retirement. How can he even hold it together?
Quarterbacking in AFC North with hands a full three inches shy of a foot must mean Burrow will slip in the draft, just like all those footballs out of his tiny hands. Why couldn’t Burrow be blessed with the grizzly bear claws of one Jim Druckenmiller? Even with a Shaquille O’Neal handshake, the guy did a terrible job of replacing Steve Young, so give yourself a big hand, San Francisco 49ers.
But with the hands of Jack Kelly, Burrow must find a way to make it always sunny in Cincinnati, just like he did in Baton Rouge during his Heisman campaign. Even if we can question Burrow’s ability to palm a basketball, there is no debate about his ability to carry a football team and hold up the Heisman Trophy.
Saying you need to have big hands to play quarterback is like saying you have to be tall to play in the NBA. It helps, but it’s not a prerequisite. There might be seven-foot giants on NBA rosters, but they’re utterly useless when up-tempo teams decide to go small. They have been plenty of giant-handed doofuses to take snaps in the NFL under center, but Burrow will not be one of them.
When we saw Burrow pick up the Heisman Trophy, did we think he was going to drop it? No. When LSU got off to a slow start in the national title game, did we think Burrow was going to drop the ball and lose to Clemson? No. So why do we think the Bengals will look at Burrow’s beautiful nine-inch hands and believe he’s not the answer at quarterback? He throws touchdowns with them!
If you think Burrow’s little-handedness got in the way of him being a champion down on the bayou, then you’re wrong! There are people in this world who will never be able to hold their own with hands the size of oven mitts. It’s not about the size or your hands, it’s about the size of your heart. Burrow is proof you still dream big, even if you’ve got these tiny hands to work with.