5 college football mascots that are pure nightmare fuel
By John Buhler
4. Nightmare fuel college football mascots: Pistol Pete, Oklahoma State Cowboys
Like most things Oklahoma State, stop trying so hard and we just might actually like you. Y’all gave us Barry Sanders, Garth Brooks and Mike Gundy’s sweet delicious mullet. In a way, he’s already a pretty epic sideline mascot. Not only is he a man, but he’s also 50-something. But what is Pistol Pete exactly? He’s the scariest anthropomorphic cowboy you’ve seen this side of the Rocky Mountains.
From the shoulders down, we get it. You wanna be a cowboy. But upstairs, it’s a monstrosity that appeals to absolutely no one. You tried too hard. You should have put a scary wildcat headpiece on top of a football player like K-State did and it would have been just as effective. Instead, you’ve got a 19th-century cowboy who’s seen some things and been to too many saloons in his heyday.
While we can attempt to tolerate the giant orange hat, it’s the face we cannot unsee. It’s like an aging Hollywood star who is more plastic than man. Surely, there’s a student in Stillwater who can grow a full beard before he’s 22 and wouldn’t need to hide behind the Richard Nixon of cowboy masks. Every kid under age-5 will give up on their Wild West dreams after a date with The Pistol.
Not only does he have a rubbery looking face, but he’s toting a gun. Again, it’s part of the get-up of the ole Poke, but he’s a dude pretending to be a cowboy with a rubber face and he’s got a shotgun! Rob a bank Saturday morning, entertain Oklahomans in a home game at night. All in a day’s work. How much money did the late T. Boone Pickens invest in Pistol’s face? We’ll never know.