5 college football mascots that are pure nightmare fuel
By John Buhler
2. Nightmare fuel college football mascots: The Tiger, Clemson Tigers
Clemson was too busy running on the field after blowing out Wake Forest to name its mascot. A tiger is not an original mascot and neither is the name The Tiger. It’s the Hot Pockets jingle of a mascot name. You didn’t even try. You could have ripped off Kellogg’s with Tony and people would have been okay with that. The problem is this cat clearly spawned from hell. Just look at its eyes!
If you were to bet your life savings a child under five in your extended family would not fall to pieces in sheer horror at the mere sight of The Tiger, you’re a braver man than me. The Tiger has the yellow eyes of a basilisk. If this anthropomorphic big cat could talk, it would speak in third-person like it’s Karl Malone or Zlatan Ibrahimovic, while also trying to sell your soul to the devil.
Face it. People don’t trust cats anyway, and they shouldn’t trust this cat, even if it hails from little old Clemson. The other huge issue is its little buddy Tiger Cub is a much cuter cuddlier little guy. He’s only seen winning of the Dabo Swinney era, so he’s not as jaded by the Tommy Bowden crapola from yesteryear. The Tiger saw some things between Dabo and Danny Ford and it shows.
Even though it doesn’t carry a weapon like Pistol Pete or Purdue Pete, it’s stoic like Purdue Pete with eyes set to kill. When this big cat wakes up in the morning, the first thing on its mind has to be murder. While we prefer it to be ACC cannon fodder down in Death Valley, this is a fearsome feline we should want no part of. If you trust this cat, put your hand in its cage why don’t you.