Who is this ‘Karl Kuzma’ everyone is talking about today?

A slip of the tongue by Charles Barkley may have created the perfect alter ego for Lakers’ forward Kyle Kuzma.

If you were on Twitter during last night’s Lakers’ Game 1 loss to the Trail Blazers you might have seen a few confusing mentions of a player named “Karl Kuzma.” Confusing because Karl Kuzma doesn’t exist, at least in the NBA. Charles Barkley forgot that Kuzma’s first name is Kyle.

https://twitter.com/NBAonTNT/status/1295891535691575296

Karl Kuzma then exists only as a trademark Barkley brain fart.

But what if he was real? Some kind of alter ego for Kyle Kuzma? The Pierre to his JaVale McGee? The Hoodie Melo to his Regular Melo?

So, who is Karl Kuzma really?

Kyle Kuzma is blessed with talent and immense confidence, but there’s some imbalance there. He’s a human heat check, as likely to drop a game-winner as he is to fire up an “oh-no-baby-what-is-you-doing-airball.” He is capable of great beauty and great catastrophe.

But not Karl Kuzma. That guy is a square. He wears cargo shorts and only buys mild salsa. He’s into CBS dramas and Sue Grafton novels. He likes to raise the roof and when he says “barbecue” he means hot dogs and hamburgers. He loves to help his team win but he eschews the limelight. He doesn’t like to take the big shot. He doesn’t even like to be the guy who passes the ball to the guy who takes the big shot. He’d prefer to be the guy who passes the ball to the guy who passes the ball to the guy who takes the big shot. But he’s always the first one there for celebratory high-fives.

Kyle Kuzma raises the Lakers’ ceiling but Karl Kuzma raises their floor. Facing a surging Blazers team and a 1-0 series deficit, I’m honestly not sure who they could use more right now.