Johnny Cueto listens to music, falls asleep in the outfield (Video)

Johnny Cueto has no use for music that puts him to sleep because he’ll do it.

Johnny Cueto is achieving all of our life goals by taking a spite nap on the job and getting paid.

When you didn’t get traded at the deadline and you’re going up against the only team in your division that’s worse than you, admittedly, it’s hard to get up for your start, especially if you are having Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin forced into your earholes. Cueto needed some tunes with a little more energy, as he tells the PA announcer to put on something better or he’ll go to sleep.

Johnny Cueto will not work hard on Labor Day weekend without good music.

It takes someone with great courage to take a spite nap while on the clock. Then again, if George Costanza could do it under his desk at old Yankee Stadium, Cueto can absolutely do it in the outfield of Oracle Park. Though he didn’t factor into the decision in his five innings and change of work on Sunday, this is what elite tone-setting looks like, for those who are hopelessly unaware.

Cueto may have gave up two first-inning runs to the Snakes, but keep in mind, they’re snakes and they’ll surely wake you up in the midst of your deepest slumber, whether that’s in the outfield or not. They may be little garter snakes, but they’re still snakes and many of us don’t care for them, not even some of the fine folks living in 110-plus degree temperatures in the Valley of the Sun.

If you want to say taking a spite nap in your home park’s outfield isn’t professional, then you haven’t had a toddler zoom past your colleague’s setup on Zoom. Given that he plays ball in the Bay Area, he should take a page out of East Bay native Billie Joe Armstrong’s book and just wake up when September ends. By then, the Giants will be sleeping outside of the NL postseason field.

Cueto deserves all the praise in the world for doing Labor Day weekend right by taking a nap.