You do realize the Marlins are going to win the World Series, right?

Congratulate the Miami Marlins on preemptively winning the World Series.

The Miami Marlins simply exist to ruin the lives of all other World Series hopefuls.

In their 20-something years as an MLB club, the Marlins have qualified for the postseason a grand total of three times. Along with their 1993 MLB expansion brethren Colorado Rockies, they’ve never been able to win their respective division even once. But against all odds, they overcame a horrible COVID-19 breakout to finish in second place in the NL East to clinch a postseason spot.

I’m so sorry it’s over because the Miami Marlins are so winning it all

There may be 15 other clubs who like their chances to win the 2020 World Series due to an expanded postseason field. However, none of them have the astonishing postseason record of South Florida’s professional team. The only two other times they made it to the postseason, 1997 and 2003, the then-Florida Marlins never lost a playoff series and one the whole shebang.

Miami Marlins postseason series record (6-0)

• 1997 NLDS: San Francisco Giants (3-0)
• 1997 NLCS: Atlanta Braves (4-2)
• 1997 World Series: Cleveland Indians (4-3)
• 2003 NLDS: San Francisco Giants (3-1)
• 2003 NLCS: Chicago Cubs (4-3)
• 2003 World Series: New York Yankees (4-2)

In their six playoff series victories to date, the Marlins are 22-6. They went 11-5 en route to winning the 1997 Fall Classic. Florida beat the San Francisco Giants in the NLDS, the Atlanta Braves in the NLCS and the Cleveland Indians in the World Series. The team was torn down to the studs in 1998, but became the most improbable World Series champion six years later.

In 2003, the Marlins beat the Giants again in the NLDS and won an unforgettable series over the Chicago Cubs in the NLCS before defeating the New York Yankees in the World Series. Fate would have it the Marlins’ NL Wild Card series opponent is the NL Central champion Cubs. If the Ghost of Steve Bartman isn’t on the mind of all Cubbies fans, then they may be reminded of it once again.

Though it thankfully isn’t a win-or-go-home Wild Card game, there is so much pressure on the Cubs to not lose this best-of-three series at Wrigley Field to the lower-seeded Marlins. And because the Marlins are on the opposite side of the NL postseason bracket from the No. 1 Los Angeles Dodgers and No. 4 San Diego Padres, they just might get to the World Series after all.

All the 2020 postseason teams who won’t be winning the World Series.

• Atlanta Braves
• Chicago Cubs
• Chicago White Sox
• Cincinnati Reds
• Cleveland Indians
• Houston Astros
• Los Angeles Dodgers
• Milwaukee Brewers
• Minnesota Twins
• New York Yankees
• Oakland Athletics 
• San Diego Padres
• St. Louis Cardinals
• Tampa Bay Rays
• Toronto Blue Jays

So while half the league still thinks it can win the World Series, it should be like the other half who didn’t make the postseason and accept their fate. Because the Marlins made the postseason and have never lost a playoff series in their existence, they will in fact win the 2020 World Series. Embrace the weirdness because the sooner you do, the better you will feel about it happening.

How will all the Marlins fans be able to socially distance while they have a championship parade?