Lane Kiffin is about to be down $25,000 or better yet, 25 million pennies
When the SEC fines Lane Kiffin for ripping some refs, expect a bit of coin to come their way.
The Ole Miss Rebels head coach was fined $25,000 for retweeting a post being critical of SEC officials for yet another blown call grossly in the Auburn Tigers’ favor. All three of Auburn’s wins this season have featured a ghastly officiating blunder by these zany zebras. The SEC admitted a mistake, but Ole Miss still has the L on its resume after such a horrendous officiating botch job.
Kiffin has to pay this absurd five-figure fine for being right. Because he is the man of the people, Kiffin has been inspired by a man from Lebanon, Virginia to pay his fine in person by way of wheelbarrowing in some pennies. The Lebanon man paid the Virginia DMV $2987.45 in pennies for auto sales tax, using even more to pull off this spectacular petty stunt.
It was worth every single penny.
This is more proof that you can never put a price on inherently glorious pettiness.
If the arch rival Mississippi State Bulldogs can have Mike Leach and cowbells, then Ole Miss can have the Lane Train and 18-wheelers chock full o’ pennies. If Philadelphia Eagles fans and Oakland Raiders fans can throw batteries at players from their seats, why can’t Ole Miss create its own hostile environment by way of hurling brass Lincolns to the dome of dumb visiting teams?
In case you forgot, Foo Fighters stopped playing “Big Me” for years because Dave Grohl was tired of getting pelted by Mentos. Who knows if Dave Grohl is a football fan? All we know is his hit single off the Foos’ first album should become an Oxford anthem of splendid magnificence. When “Big Me” comes on at Vaught-Hemingway, we’ll talk about it and carry on by slinging pennies.
It may only be two minutes and 12 seconds of post-grunge power pop, but it will be 132 seconds of monumental pain for whoever is playing the Rebels that Saturday. At least they’ll have helmets on and the zebras are just rocking ball caps. Don’t worry. Kiffin has time to pay the fine, just like he has time to grow his hair long enough to braid it like Grohl did in this life-changing music video.
When the Lane Train pulls into Birmingham station with 25 million pennies, oh, we’ll talk about it.