Listen: Pirates radio call of the Javier Baez-Will Craig play sounds like a horror movie

Javier Baez and Will Craig combined for an oxymoron play for the ages, and the Pirates radio call is the cherry on top. 

This is not hyperbole: The Javy Baez-Will Craig rundown debacle was one of the craziest things that have happened in the centuries-long history of baseball.

On Thursday afternoon, Pirates first baseman Will Craig committed what is one of the most mind-numbingly stupid errors a player can make. In a sport where the game is often muddled with confusing shifts, signs, and strategies, there is absolutely no mistaking that stepping on first base records an out.

Craig had other ideas.

Depending on who you are, the play was either a masterful work of baseball sorcery or something that is going to make you strongly consider if you want to find out what glue tastes like.

Pirates radio broadcast of the Javier Baez-Will Craig play

For the Pirates radio crew, it was — well, just let them do the talking:

This is the audio equivalent of that scene from The Simpsons where you can see the exact second Ralph’s heart breaks. You can pinpoint exactly when the Pirates radio team realizes what is happening and also when they realize how much worse it’s going to get.

Horror movie fans are known to scream at characters onscreen that the killer is behind them; this is that but for baseball. The desperation with which the broadcast crew is pleading with Craig to simply step on the first base bag to record the out and end the inning is palpable. Stephen King is blushing (and probably laughing his ass off).

It takes a lot to show us something in a sport as old as baseball that we can’t remember ever seeing before. So as far as legacy is concerned, at least Will Craig has that going for him because in the wake of his bone-headed play on Thursday he doesn’t have a whole lot else.