Ohio State offensive lineman Harry Miller announced his medical retirement while revealing his difficult mental health battle.
The Buckeye football team is losing offensive lineman Harry Miller to a medical retirement and that’s a great thing because it’s much better than losing him to something else.
Sadly, the Ohio State family came terrifyingly close to that alternative this past year.
On Thursday, as he announced his retirement on social media, Miller also opened up about the mental health issues he has faced over the last year, including attempting suicide.
Ohio State OG Harry Miller dealt with major mental health concerns
“Prior to the season last year, I told Coach Day of my intention to kill myself,” Miller revealed.
Ryan Day immediately connected Miller with mental health resources who helped prevent a tragedy but when the offensive lineman returned to practice with the Buckeyes, he did so “with scars on my wrists and throat.”
Miller, who started seven games in 2020, ended up playing briefly in 2021 but missed most of the season with injury. He was recently ruled out of spring camp. It turns out there was a lot more bubbling below the surface than just an injury-filled season.
“I am not angry. I had to lose my anger because I did not know if God would forgive me if I went to him in anger…So in my sadness, I lost my anger and learned many things…above all, I learned love, the type of love that can only be pieced together by the mechanism of brutal sadness,” Miller wrote. “And so I will love more than I can be hated or laughed at, for I know the people who are sneering need most the love that I was looking for. The cost of apathy is life, but the price of life is as small as an act of kindness. I am a life preserved by the kindness that was offered to me by others when I could not produce kindness for myself.”
Miller’s story is particularly important in light of recent examples of college athletes who took their own lives while dealing with the immense pressure of life and sports. He’s a reminder of how athletes may look strong and fearless on the field but they can also struggle internally without people realizing it.
“We ask ‘How could this have happened?’ but that single question can not absolve us of all the questions we might have asked while it was happening,” he wrote. “I am grateful for the infrastructure Coach Day has put in place at Ohio State, and I am grateful that he is letting me find a new way to help others in the program. I hope athletic departments around the country do the same. If not for him and the staff, my words would not be a reflection. They would be evidence in a post-mortem.”
The good news is Miller got help when he needed it and now has the ability to save other lives simply by speaking out and letting his story be heard.
Miller shared the phone number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255), which can never be shared too often.