Well, we believe in exit velocity, bat flips, launch angles, stealing home, the hanging curveball, Big League Chew, sausage races, and that unwritten rules of any kind are self-indulgent, overrated crap. We believe Greg Maddux was an actual wizard. We believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment protecting minor league baseball and that pitch framing is both an art and a science. We believe in the sweet spot, making WARP not war, letting your closer chase a two-inning save, and we believe love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too.
Welcome to The Moonshot.
More MLB relief pitcher entrance songs we want to hear
Craig Kimbrel’s “Let it Go” closer entrance song has injected a healthy dose of Disney Magic into the Dodgers’ season, as has Kimbrel choosing a new personal catcher: A Cricket With a Tiny Hat.
These other closers could use a change of tune, though, so we’ve laid out some ideal entrance music for the league’s back-end firebreathers.
Aroldis Chapman: “Lost,” Coldplay. Jam out to the mellow tones of Chris Martin’s classic composition as this completely lost man desperately searches for home plate and instead burrows a hole through the Yankee Stadium netting with a misplaced fastball, then somehow aims perfectly for that hole with his next three fastballs.
Liam Hendriks: “F*** It,” Eamon. Mic Hendriks up and you won’t get 10 seconds of clean audio without an F-Bomb. This entrance song just speeds up that process.
Edwin Diaz: “Narco,” But Even Louder. Don’t change the song, just turn up the volume and also play it innings 1-through-8. Create a Sound Wall at Citi Field. You shouldn’t be allowed to talk to your friends and/or enemies. Diaz should be forced to sing the trumpet part during at-bats.
Emmanuel Clase: “Money Can’t Buy You Class(e),” Countess Luann from Real Housewives of New York City. Could be fun for Cleveland!
Jorge Lopez: “Rio,” Duran Duran. Twins fans are calling for Jhoan Duran anyway, might as well kind of give it to them.
Daniel Bard: Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II. Bard of Colorado, meet Bard of Avon! The Rockies’ closer will now jog out to the entirety of the Balcony Scene from William Shakespeare’s masterpiece.
Kenley Jansen: Whatever Craig Kimbrel’s Entrance Song Used to Be. Steal his entire life. Sleep in his clothes. Do a midseason Wife Swap. He is you. You are him. We is me. Make the NLCS interesting for once.
David Robertson: “Hook,” Blues Traveler. He has an awesome curveball.
Pete Fairbanks: “Hook,” Blues Traveler. This song just rips.
Blake Treinen: “For the First Time in Forever,” Frozen. For when he inevitably takes over for an ineffective Craig Kimbrel in October.
Game of the week: Predict which Angels 2022 season recap is real
No. 1: Shohei Ohtani bolstered his AL MVP case with eight scoreless innings while Mike Trout hit for the cycle, scoring only one run, in a 2-1 defeat at the hands of the Houston Astros. Ohtani was removed with just 96 pitches to a chorus of boos from the Anaheim faithful after allowing just his second baserunner. Raisel Iglesias immediately gave up a two-run homer to Jose Altuve, cementing the Angels’ defeat.
No. 2: The Angels hit seven home runs on Thursday — including two by Shohei Ohtani — setting a franchise record against Oakland. Yet, all of those blasts were solo, thus accounting for seven runs in Anaheim’s eventual 8-7 loss to the A’s. “I guess they always say solo home runs don’t beat you, but you feel like if you hit seven, you might. It didn’t work out for us,” manager Phil Nevin said. Janson Junk — I kid you not — was the losing pitcher.
No. 3: Shohei Ohtani once again lowered his impressive team-leading ERA to 2.43 on Friday night thanks to a one-run outing in the span of 6.2 innings pitched. Fellow AL MVP candidate Mike Trout also hit two homers — bolstering his in-season total to 36 and representing the only Anaheim runs of the game. The Angels would lose 3-2 to the Mariners following a critical ninth-inning error by shortstop Luis Renfigo.
If you had No. 2, you’re our lucky winner (of nothing, sorry)! The Angels are the most predictably unpredictable team in baseball history.
3 stories from around the MLB Division you need to read
MLB is not going to let the NFL steal its thunder. There were a number of big hits across the league this weekend. Here are three estories you need to read from FanSided’s MLB division.
Albert Pujols gifts 697th home run ball to Pirates fans in classy gesture — Albert Pujols is looking more and more likely to get to 700 home runs before the end of the 2022 season. So it should be no surprise that baseball fans no matter which MLB team they root for are enjoying his attempt and hoping to see a bit of history themselves. Upon learning a Pittsburgh family that caught home run ball No. 697 recently lost their father, Pujols went out of his way to make their day even better.
Dodgers’ Justin Turner, Cody Bellinger dunking on Joe Musgrove is comedy gold — Justin Turner put Padres pitcher Joe Musgrove on a poster on Sunday, getting a little revenge for Musgrove saying Turner was “not a threat” a few months earlier. Oh, and the Dodgers clinched the playoffs over the weekend, too. Up by 20 games on the second-place Padres, it’s only a matter of days before they add the NL West flag to their collection, too.
Major changes coming to MLB in 2023 — Dave Hill at Call to the Pen shined a closer light at the MLB rule changes approved for next year, from larger bases, to major changes to limit the defensive shift, to moves made to pick up the pace of play. Hill writes that the pitch clock may actually be the one that is most major in the end.