The Moonshot: Blink-182 is back and so are the San Diego Padres

Well, we believe in exit velocity, bat flips, launch angles, stealing home, the hanging curveball, Big League Chew, sausage races, and that unwritten rules of any kind are self-indulgent, overrated crap. We believe Greg Maddux was an actual wizard. We believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment protecting minor league baseball and that pitch framing is both an art and a science. We believe in the sweet spot, making WARP not war, letting your closer chase a two-inning save, and we believe love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too.

Welcome to The Moonshot.

Blink-182 is back, the Padres are good and these San Diego vibes are epic, bruh!

It was a Tuesday morning for the ages in sunny San Diego, California.

How good was it? Well, the sun wasn’t even out yet and the animals were not even awake in the zoo. That’s how good of a morning it has been in San Diego!

Not since Ron Burgundy’s voice made wolverines purr have San Diegoans been this happy. Try to contain your LOUD NOISES as best as you can, so you don’t wake up the bears.

The news of Tom DeLonge rejoining Blink-182 hit harder than Junior Seau making a tackle.

Combine that with the Padres playing the Dodgers in the NLCS, it’s like LT hitting paydirt over and over and over again for the Bolts.

When a band with as many hits as Tony Gwynn gets back together, it hits differently, just like any Channel 4 News Team reunion.

It’s October mornings like these we all strive for. The breakfast burritos have never tasted better, the surf is primo, the tunes are rocking and the baseball is about as good as it gets.

You can say that we’re feeling this. You gotta appreciate all the small things…

This morning, we asked ourselves what our age is again. Well, I guess this is growing up…

Pundits said the Padres’ fate would fall short this time, as their smiles would fade in the summer.

But don’t waste your time on us, as the Padres are already the voice inside our heads.

How do we know this? Why do you think Buck Showalter briefly had an infatuation with ears?

He thought Joe Musgrove was rocking some STP Vasoline while he was looking for some tiny music from the Vatican gift shop.

Buck be trippin’ on a hole in a paper heart, as he came up big empty…

After screaming himself Tom Coughlin purple, it was time to take him home, as his team was dead and bloated.

As the caravan of surfing vans and electric vehicles make their way two hours northbound, the Padres fans will be blasting their interstate love song about their favorite baseball team.

They will be slamming these breakfast burritos down, down, down, down, hoping the Dodgers go down, down, down, down in Chavez Ravine tonight.

When these underdogs do find their way to Dodger Stadium, there won’t be time to wait for tomorrow. Bob Melvin and the boys got a game to play tonight.

Enjoy The Mark, Tom, Travis and Padres Show, as the next stop on their tour is Los Angeles.

We missed you.

— John Buhler

Seattle Mariners debate which ‘movie’ Blue Jays’ season was after Wild Card upset

Prior to the 2022 season, Toronto Blue Jays star Vladimir Guerrero Jr. declared that last season was merely the trailer for his team’s success, while the forthcoming year would be “the movie”. That movie wrapped up neatly with the largest individual game home choke in postseason history against the Seattle Mariners in Game 2, a team of film buffs who found themselves uniquely obsessed with critiquing the latest bit of cinema they helped create.

“Well, it ended abruptly and without clarity,” noted catcher Cal Raleigh. “A bit like ‘Donnie Darko’? Where you’re not sure if the whole thing is contained within Vlad’s psychosis.”

“Oh, I couldn’t disagree more,” offered left-handed ace Robbie Ray. “There was a clear vision here. Just because you didn’t like it doesn’t mean there wasn’t an obvious lens through which the director was trying to interpret the world. The twist ending wasn’t chaotic; it was meant to evoke chaos.”

“Oh, I liked it,” Raleigh responded.

“No, not you you. The global ‘you’ at large,” Ray clarified.

“But what of the protagonist?” asked Ty France, emerging from the showers in a red smoking jacket.”

Depends on whom you believe the film to have been centered around,” Ray and Raleigh retorted in unison.”

The protagonists were the anti-heroes, as I see it. From Vlad’s perspective. Almost like a ‘Dog Day Afternoon’ situation, where you realize the robbers had a reason all along,” France posited.”

And the audience is in on it the entire time. Everyone — and I mean everyone — is rooting for the Mariners except the people in that other locker room,” Ray added. “That’s dramatic irony. How could the Jays not realize?”

“Smart directing,” chimed Mariners manager Scott Servais. “They didn’t see any of it coming. Especially not the fly ball that fell in between the entire defense and tied the game.”

“Gruesome,” declared Raleigh. “Tarantino-esque.”

“No, no,” declared ace Luis Castillo, doffing his beret. “You’ve got it all wrong.”

“What do you mean? Misplaced faith in the mise-en-scène? Too much credit to the denoument, not enough appreciation for the buildup?” France asked.

“Movie was like ‘Gigli’,” Castillo clarified. “Team just sucked.”

— Adam Weinrib

The latest episode of The Baseball Insiders

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X-nRubqfKA&t=7s

What’s up with Joe Musgrove’s ears?

The San Diego Padres surprised many by overtaking the New York Mets, a team that was basically guaranteed an automatic NLDS spot until the last week of the regular season when the Atlanta Braves finally snatched the top spot of the division.

Many wondered how they did it, and some even went as far as to question some extra shine on Padres pitcher Joe Musgrove’s ear. Did Musgrove actually have a sticky substance on his ear, or is he just a really good pitcher?

The latter is the more likely scenario. Officials stopped the game to pull Musgrove off the mound to check his ear, but they didn’t find anything. Twitter sleuths frantically Googled, “Do ears sweat?” and reported back with findings that they don’t, but all too often, players get sweat on their heads, in their hats and more.

Musgrove is also legitimately a good pitcher. He’s been great all season, having the best season of his career with an ERA of 2.93, batting average against of .227 and WHIP of 1.08. His performance wasn’t as good the second half of the season as it was the first, but he’s still an All-Star player who has been one of the most reliable in San Diego.

With the pressure and intensity of the playoffs, there’s no surprise that he pulled himself together to bring the team to the NLDS. Some believe it wasn’t a fair win, others know how hard the Padres have fought all season to get to this point. Regardless, they’ll be headed to the NLDS for the first time since 2006 (excluding the partial season that 2020 was).

— Rylie Smith