The Moonshot: World Series predictions and lessons for the Yankees
By Staff
Well, we believe in exit velocity, bat flips, launch angles, stealing home, the hanging curveball, Big League Chew, sausage races, and that unwritten rules of any kind are self-indulgent, overrated crap. We believe Greg Maddux was an actual wizard. We believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment protecting minor league baseball and that pitch framing is both an art and a science. We believe in the sweet spot, making WARP not war, letting your closer chase a two-inning save, and we believe love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too.
The Astros postseason experience should make them the World Series favorite
The Houston Astros making the World Series almost felt inevitable. The Philadelphia Phillies making the World Series, meanwhile, felt like a pipedream at best considering they stumbled into the postseason.
But it’s now reality and I’m having a very difficult time predicting a winner.
On one hand, the Astros have the postseason experience. They have made six consecutive ALCS appearances and appeared in three World Series in the last five seasons. They swept the New York Yankees rather-handedly and have the pitching capable of overpowering any lineup (the Yankees averaged a combined .128 with 41 strikeouts in four games).
The Phillies, meanwhile, are powered by an offense of high-profile stars in Bryce Harper, Kyle Schwarber, Nick Castellanos and JT Realmuto. Harper has been the best player in baseball this postseason. Zach Wheeler and Aaron Nola are arguably the best 1-2 punch in baseball. The bullpen has also been a strength – Jose Alvarado, Seranthony Dominguez and even Noah Syndergaard, among others, have all stepped up — and new manager Rob Thomson has shown a deft touch in deploying his options in games.
This will not be a sweep. The Phillies are much better than the Yankees. At times, they feel like a team of destiny, a classic Philadelphia underdog story.
But I’m rolling with postseason experience. I think the Astros are too good and too deep to lose four times in a seven-game series, especially with their pitching (1.88 team postseason ERA; Phillies have a 3.06 team ERA). Give me the Astros in six games.
If history was run by the Houston Astros’ Twitter account
Congratulations to George Washington, who will preside over these United States as the nation’s first president. Oh, and John Adams? Keep walking, fella! How ’bout them second-place apples? Taste it! Vice doesn’t feel as Nice.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. And to all those truths out there that aren’t self-evident? Get more evident, clowns. Your truth tears taste delicious.
War of 1812? More like Bore of 1812! Was that even technically a war? I’ve had flies put up more of a fight to the swatter. Oh, and rest in peace to the many men we lost in combat.
Brothers fighting brothers. This Civil War has been taxing on our nation and its ideals. But also, sounds like half of those brothers…suck!
The Great Depression has hit every human hard. Luckily, in addition to humans, it also got some Yankee fans! Be more poor, you can’t.
That’s one small step for man. One giant leap for mankind. And one massive f*** you to our haters! Russia, you might as well be sending a monkey up there — oh, wait, you did! Oh my god, you’re so ugly.
The New York Yankees just finished the regular season in fifth place with a 74-87 record!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and also the Berlin Wall just fell.
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Who throws out the first pitch in Philadelphia?
We are in the midst of an absolutely tremendous sports time in the City of Brotherly Love. While the nation’s economy has seen better days, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia!
The Phillies are in the World Series and The Birds haven’t lost a single game yet.
Surely, there are interesting things going on at the Wells Fargo Center too, but this is all about America’s pastime, right here, right now! Unless you hail from either Houston or Philadelphia, nobody cares who wins this Fall Classic.
In fact, most people are actively rooting against you, especially if you root for an American League team or one that hails from the National League East. Anyway, good times, as Houston and Philadelphia wouldn’t have it any other way.
So instead of watching anxiety-riddled baseball late into the night as the weather starts to change, I have a solution to get your baseball fix in, reduce your stress and get some much-needed sleep.
The only thing The Uninvested should care about is who from The Gang throws out the first pitch.
There are five candidates to be had (Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob McElhenney, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito), but only three acceptable solutions to the most important of problems.
- Danny DeVito all by himself in his absolutely undeniable and majestic greatness.
- Charlie Day and Glenn Howerton together while recreating Dayman. (Ah-Ahh-Ahhh…)
- The husband and wife combo of Rob McElhenney and Kaitlin Olson going pure Philly.
Again, these are the only three options. Otherwise, we riot and climb up greased poles near the Delaware, the Schuylkill or wherever there is an intersection.
Under 5-feet and pushing 80, you’re darn right Frank Reynolds would make this an absolute spectacle. It doesn’t matter if the ball even makes it to the plate, everybody will be cheering for him. The only way this gets better is if the Phillie Phanatic and all his friends, including the walking snake that is Phang, are there to cheer on the living legend among us.
Separately, Charlie could do it, but people will boo the hiss out of Dennis. But with their powers combined, they could achieve something extraordinary. With the swaying of hips and an over-the-head clap, they can do this together, for Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, to be Champions of the Sun. Of course, we will have to figure out how to avoid using spray paint…
And for as dope as those two scenarios would be, it has to be Mac and Dee for this jawn. Together, this power couple is more Philadelphia than Rocky and Adrian. Kaitlin went into labor with their son during a Phillies game. This team means everything to them and they mean everything to the city. Together, they can help bring Philly another World Series title.
Let’s just hope no McPoyles, Ponderosas or Lawyers get in the way of The Gang taking over.
Yankees need to take a page out of the New York Giants’ playbook
Another year, another season where the New York Yankees fell just short of the World Series. The last time this team made it to the Fall Classic, was in 2009 when they defeated the Philadelphia Phillies. The Phillies made it to the World Series this season, while the Yankees were swept by their rivals in the Houston Astros.
It goes without saying, the Yankees are nowhere near the same league as the Astros. They are the kings of the American League. They have six consecutive trips to the ALCS and four AL pennants to prove it. There is the asterisk in 2017, where they illegally stole signs. But there’s no asterisk in 2022. They were better than the Yankees by a significant margin.
Yes, the Yankees did have injuries to D.J. LeMahieu, Andrew Benintendi, and Michael King. Would they have helped the Yankees get past the Astros? Probably not. All postseason teams have to overcome injuries. The Yankees have said injuries were issues in each of their previous postseason runs that fell short.
Hal Steinbrenner seriously needs to change the organization’s philosophy. Brian Cashman has been the general manager since 1998. Again, the team has not won the World Series since 2009. He has not built a World Series-winning team since. Manager Aaron Boone does not seem capable of leading the team to a World Series title. After the Yankees were embarrassed by the Boston Red Sox in the 2021 Wild Card Game, they gave Boone a multi-year contract extension. Once again, they fell short of their goal under Boone.
Steinbrenner needs to consider taking a look at what the fellow team in the New York/New Jersey market has done recently — consider looking outside of the organization for solutions. That team is the New York Giants.
Giants owner John Mara has overseen the team that became a laughing stock in the league ever since they were blown out in the 2016 playoffs by the Green Bay Packers. They moved on from general manager Jerry Reese in 2017, and instead of trying to get a new, outside voice, they brought in Dave Gettleman, who was a former scout, director of pro personnel, and senior pro personnel analyst from 1998 until 2012. The Gettleman era was a disaster, as they picked up 19 wins in his four-season tenure.
Not to mention that the Giants hired Pat Shurmur and Joe Judge as head coaches, and they were incapable of getting the most out of the team.
Mara saw the team become the brunt of jokes at the end of the 2021 season, highlighted by a viral rant by Judge in a Week 17 press conference and back-to-back quarterback sneaks deep in their own territory to create more room to punt to the Washington Commanders. He decided to move on from Gettleman and fired Judge.
Credit to Mara, as he decided to go outside of his comfort zone. He had a vast general manager search, which included Joe Schoen from the Buffalo Bills, Ryan Poles from the Kansas City Chiefs, and Adam Peters of the San Francisco 49ers as finalists. Schoen got the job, and he brought in Bills offensive coordinator Brian Daboll to be the team’s new head coach.
The roster remains relatively the same in 2022, as Gettleman left the team with near to no cap space. And what do you know, Daboll and his coaching staff consisting of offensive coordinator Mike Kafka and defensive coordinator Wink Martindale have the team overperforming, and they are 6-1 on the season. Daboll has already surpassed the win total from the 2021 campaign seven games into the 2022 campaign. Are they the perfect team? No. But they’re playing above expectations and getting wins. It’s still early to consider it a success, yes, but the change has brought confidence back into a disgruntled fanbase.
Sometimes, a change in philosophy on how to run a sports franchise is a good thing. Yes, both teams were in different positions in their respective leagues. The Yankees have been consistent postseason contenders in MLB recently while the Giants have not. Regardless, change is something Steinbrenner should at least consider as he evaluates his options this offseason, as the team once again chases their 28th World Series title. Will Steinbrenner actually decide to shake things up? Who knows. But the team has serious work to do to try to close the gap on the Astros, which is still pretty big.”
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