The 30-team NBA mega-trade that solves nothing and makes everyone mad

Denver Nuggets

Sending out: Ish Smith, Jeff Green
Bringing in: Nerlens Noel

The Nuggets shrink their depth in a 2-for-1 deal, but Green and Smith probably don’t figure much in a playoff rotation and Noel has value as a defensive-minded big who can take some pressure off Jokic.

Minnesota Timberwolves

Sending out: Karl-Anthony Towns, Austin Rivers
Bringing in: John Collins, Patrick Beverley, Matisse Thybulle, 2027 1st-round pick (LAL), 2027 1st-round pick (PHI via BKN)

What the Timberwolves have now isn’t working but their is no way to undo their acquisition of Rudy Gobert. In a vacuum, you’d rather build around Towns but it seems like he may need a change of scenery and this could be a way to take care of their present and future. Towns to Collins is a big downgrade, but Collins is still an offensively versatile and young frontcourt partner who can play with Gobert and work next to Anthony Edwards. They also pick up some of the defensive grit and intensity they’ve been missing on the wings, with Beverley and Thybulle, and a pair of 2027 first-round picks that could be very valuable once you stack four years of aging onto the Lakers’ and 76ers’ rosters.

Oklahoma City Thunder

Sending out: Mike Muscala, Kenrich Williams
Bringing in: Jaxson Hayes

I’m not sure what the longterm plan at center is for the Thunder but auditioning Hayes at the cost of two pieces with no real long-term value seems like a small victory for Oklahoma City.

Portland Trail Blazers

Sending out: Justise Winslow
Bringing in: Shake Milton

Winslow was helpful as a secondary playmaker when he was healthy and Milton is a size downgrade for that role. But he’s a much better shooter and should give Portland more offensively, even if he’s taking a little off the table in terms of defensive versatility.

Utah Jazz

Sending out: Rudy Gay, Talen Horton-Tucker
Bringing in: Duncan Robinson

Trust me, I know how weird this looks. I basically could have raided the Jazz’s cabinet here and scattered their pieces to the winds but I’m fascinated to see what would happen if they just kept pushing. Robinson has struggled since signing his big contract but maybe a change of scenery helps his shooting percentages rebound and he could be a lot more valuable to the Jazz than Gay or Tucker in what is already one of the most dangerous shooting teams in the league. His contract is an anvil but regardless of any other trades the future of the Jazz is the picks they landed in the Donovan Mitchell and Rudy Gobert trades and Robinson’s contract will be over before any iteration of the team built around those players is really squeezed for cap space.