SEC Football: 5 incredibly early bold predictions for the 2023 season

Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M Aggies. (Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images)
Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M Aggies. (Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images) /
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Mark Stoops, Kentucky Wildcats
Mark Stoops, Kentucky Wildcats. (Photo by Jay Biggerstaff/Getty Images) /

It’s early and I’m bored, so here are five way-too-early predictions for the upcoming SEC football season, aight.

I’ve been to the future and seen what’s up. And now, I’m not going to help you navigate the stock market, bro…

About four months from now, the only college football that really matters will be back in our lives. I’m talking about good, old-fashioned SEC football. Whether it be the tribalism, the pageantry or the rampant shenanigans associated with it, I’m here for it. There is nothing quite like pumping gas on a fall Saturday morning while simultaneously barking at walking passers-by. I never feel more alive.

So with that in mind, here are five things that will absolutely happen this SEC football season.

SEC football: 5 way-too-early bold predictions for 2023 college football season

5. Iowa solves its nepotism issues by hiring one of its own away from Kentucky

After seeing how great Brian Ferentz is at his job for so many years now, Gary Barta is going to do what has seemingly been seen as impossible and send the Ferentz men off into retirement. Kirk’s Dawgs may win 10 games every four years, but their days of having a semi-stranglehold on the Big Ten West will soon be over. If only there was another Hayden Fry protege out there to be had…

While he could have stayed in Lexington longer than John Calipari will have allowed him to, who says you can’t go home if you’re Mark Stoops? He may hail from Youngstown, but the money’s too damn hot for a Penguin to make the most sacred Arby’s pilgrimage back home. Stoops will make a mighty fine replacement for Kirk Ferentz at Iowa. This is the only job he would leave Kentucky for.

Although places like Auburn, Florida State and Miami may have been interested, you simply cannot top the Kinnick Wave. Assuming Stoops can assemble a staff that isn’t so reliant on his family, the Kinnick Wave may signify the number of offensive touchdowns the Hawkeyes will score in a game vs. the number of first downs Brian Ferentz could ever hope to have on Saturday.

The dollars have to make sense first, but a prodigal son returns to Iowa City full-time in December.