What made baseball fun this week: Zac Gallen and a bird had trouble with the curve

I don’t believe what I just saw!: Zac Gallen went Randy Johnson on a poor bird like the Snake he is

You know the old adage of killing two birds with one stone. Looks like the shoe is on the other foot. Look, it’s not like Randy Johnson tried to ruffle anyone’s feathers some 22 years ago, but Zac Gallen had a little trouble with the curve during warm-ups in Oakland on Wednesday afternoon. This isn’t like that sweaty nervous guy in Wanted curving bullets, but we got a direct hit, alright…

Yes, unfortunately, Petey the Parakeet’s head fell off. He was old, I know, but this is what happens when you get robbed by a sweet, old lady on a motorized cart. You never see it coming… I don’t believe I can see into the future, or birds, but you can probably wager your 401k most nights against the A’s. Not since the Raiders and Warriors left have we seen Oakland get faded this badly.

So divine, that bird and the A’s’ fortune has faded. Sadly, there is no Soul to Squeeze out of that failed avian acrobat, well, because it’s a cyborg created by the government to spy on us. Still, My Friends are so depressed by this. Lonely as I am, together we cry. As ownership decides to Give It Away now, we like our baseball spiked with pain when this team leaves for Vegas in an Aeroplane.

By the Way, Gallen tried to say he’s sorry, but you Can’t Stop when you’re addicted to the shindig.

But what about the fans??? | You’re killing me, Smalls…