5 things we desperately need to see at the Eagles championship parade

The Great Pyramid of Giza, the Lighthouse at Alexandria, the Colossus of Rhodes, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, the Temple of Artemis, and a Super Bowl parade up Broad Street: the Eight Wonders of the World.

The Philadelphia Eagles have their second Super Bowl parade on Friday, February 14th, and no matter what happens, it’s going to be a day to remember (or to try to remember as best you can).

Same route, new parade

The parade after the 2017 season was special because it was the release of decades’ worth of losses. The vibes going into this parade are different. This is a team that put it all together, is set up to keep doing so, and usurped the throne from a budding juggernaut. 

They’re similar in the fact that in each Super Bowl, the Eagles beat the team to beat. There’s a handful of things this parade needs to match everything that’s happened over the past few months (and years).

A million or more people

First off, there just needs to be a disgusting number of people. The parade after Super Bowl LII was on a Thursday, and it was estimated that 700,000 people made it. This one is on a Friday. Everyone has had since Monday to plan around this, so there’s no reason not to be able to make it. 

That includes Eagles fans who aren’t in Philadelphia. Anchorage, Alaska, is a 71-hour drive, so if the Alaskan fan left on Wednesday morning and drove for three days straight, you should be there on time. 

No excuses. Make a game plan and execute. That’s what Vic Fangio would want everyone to do.

Gillie Da Kid leads the way

Gillie Da Kid’s victory dance videos to Blow the Whistle have been great this season, and they very clearly caught the attention of the Eagles, and for good reason: because they’re awesome.

(Warning: Language)

He’s run out of the tunnel with the team and celebrated with the team in the locker room, so it seems like everyone is totally fine with him being a part of everything.

(Warning: Language)

He and his side-by-side should absolutely be part of the parade. It wouldn’t make sense for him to be in with the players, so he should be leading the way. If you think this is crazy, then you’re crazy. This would be unbelievably cool.

Shirts that say ‘6 Sacks’

The Eagles didn’t sack Patrick Mahomes at all during Super Bowl LVII, and there were a number of reasons why (the same number as the number of sopping wet blades of grass on a field). During the Chiefs’ Parade, offensive linemen Trey Smith and Creed Humphrey wore shirts that said “0 Sacks.”

Brandon Graham, Jordan Davis, Milton Williams, and Josh Sweat are the defensive linemen who were on the 2024 team and were also on the 2022 team. At least one of them needs to wear a shirt that says “6 Sacks.”

Look, that's perfect. No notes. There's simply nothing more fulfilling that spitefully throwing insults back into someone's face.

A Kellen Moore send-off

Kellen Moore just accepted the Saints’ head coaching job. Their roster is in shambles, and with the NFL Combine less than two weeks away, he’s got a whole lot of work to do. And it wouldn’t be completely unreasonable for him to miss the parade… but he shouldn’t.

It’s a time to celebrate the whole team, and Kellen Moore deserves one last bit of happiness before he goes to his new soul-sucking job with a despair-ridden franchise. 

He’s a World Champion offensive coordinator, and he should relish that for as long as possible because no matter what he finds out at the combine, his new team is still going to be terrible. 

A new speech

In 2017, Jason Kelce made the greatest Super Bowl speech of all time. The problem is that it set the bar astronomically high for Super Bowl speeches.

If I could bet on who is going to make the speech this season, it would be Jordan Mailata. He’s been around since 2018, his Australian accent would reverberate for eons, he’s incredibly charismatic, he’s totally fine with cussing, and he’s a gigantic human being. 

The last part is important because this is going to be at the end of the parade. When you watch Kelce’s speech, you can see in the background—and when the camera cuts around—that a whole bunch of the players were obliterated. 

A mondo-sized guy is going to be the one who is coherent enough to make a speech at that point in the day. It would be awesome if it was Mailata, who has literally only played football for the Eagles. And hey, if he wants to sing, our ears would be grateful to be graced with his angel-esque voice.