Atlanta Braves fans are going through it. All offseason long, we wondered why general manager Alex Anthopoulos was playing coy and sitting out in free agency. The only player of note he acquired, outfielder Jurickson Profar, is now being suspended for 80 games due to PEDs. All the while, Profar's new team has won precisely as many games this season as those that counted in spring training: zero. I hate this so much ...
To add insult to injury, just like getting a flat tire past the Cobb Cloverleaf on I-75 in rush hour traffic on a Friday afternoon in the hot August Atlanta sun, Atlanta Braves Holdings had an announcement to make! They have acquired a six-building office complex known as Pennant Park on the other side of I-75. This is the corporate schlock you and I and no one else never not asked for. Outstanding timing!
While the 0-7 2025 Braves make we want to aim for the bushes like Samuel L. Jackson and The Rock in The Other Guys, the other guys in baseball are winning more games than us! Every single last one of them. But yeah, let's talk real estate that is surely caked in pollen in the midst of the worst start for the franchise in my lifetime. Others may have been worse, but I am going through it now, and it sucks!
Atlanta Braves Holdings might as well have said Lumon is the main new tenant, so chip me like a dog!
Atlanta Braves Holdings acquires six-building ‘Pennant Park’ office complex adjacent To The Battery Atlanta - Full release available here; https://t.co/0M4H5YcIZR pic.twitter.com/9bvZcsD3kD
— The Battery Atlanta (@BatteryATL) April 2, 2025
There are so many reasons why many us feel this way, but they all go back to horrendous optics.
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Atlanta Braves Holdings did not read the room in midst of atrocious start
Look. I have no problem with Atlanta Braves Holdings/Liberty Media acquiring more territory to build out their grand vision of creating a suburb of The Battery in a suburb of Atlanta. For the Braves, I say! Pennant Park, or whatever Liberty Media wants to call it in the future, could be the greatest place on earth, more magical than Disney, or the Epcot every that ATLien deserves to drink more craft beer at.
Where this hurts is that is where the money went. Where's the money, Lebowski? I feel like the Braves broke into my apartment just to give me a swirly from my sacred porcelain throne, only to pee on my rug on the way out. You've got the wrong guy, man. I'm Buhler; that's what you call me! I may not be taking it as easy as I should for the rest of us, but this kind of aggression cannot stand, man!
If you want to know why Max Fried plays for the New York Yankees or why Profar was the only external acquisition of note, this is why. Territory is important in diplomatic ventures, marketing strategies and in the lives of dogs. That all may be true, but why do I feel like Billie Joe Armstrong ranting on some Armatage Shanks? I am not a worthless pessimist, but don't pee on me and tell me it's raining, Braves.
The home opener on Friday against the Miami Marlins shall be a vibe. Let's win one for The Gipper and not lose to The Fish!