3 Eagles who should feast against the lowly Browns: It's time to cannibalize Deshaun Watson

The last time we saw the Philadelphia Eagles, they looked broken in just about every aspect of the game. They’ve had two weeks to get healthy, fix the offense, and learn that football is actually a contact sport where the defense has to tackle. 

Luckily, they get to have their get-right game against one of the most downtrodden and pathetic teams in the NFL, the Cleveland Browns. They’re a team that has a defense ranked 16th in defensive DVOA and an offense that’s ranked 32nd in offensive DVOA. The funny part is that their overall DVOA is 32nd, which means their offense is so bad that it counteracts the mediocrity of their defense and drags them all the way to the bottom. It's pathetic.

The Browns are wounded and that means it’s time for the Eagles to eat

The Eagles' incredibly porous and underperforming defense has an opportunity to be bullies to a disgusting excuse of a Browns offense and the Eagles offense can flex its strength on the most middling offense in the NFL.

Quinyon Mitchell can chug a pick-six pack

Deshaun Watson has only thrown three interceptions this year. One was tipped up at the line, one was a bad pass that hit Elijah Moore in the hands, and one smoked Amari Cooper in the chest before it shot straight up into the air. You could argue that all of those picks weren’t totally Deshaun’s fault. 

The reason he doesn’t have a lot of interceptions is because he’s so bad and he misses everything. It feels like his strategy is that he can’t throw interceptions if no one on the field can catch the ball, which is deviously smart.

This is especially true when it comes to deep throws. Of his 176 passing attempts, only 17 of them have been for more than 20 yards, and he’s only completed three of those because most of those throws are terrible. He’s thrown the ball fewer than 10 yards 125 times and from what we’ve seen, that’s where Quinyon Mitchell will have the opportunity to get his hands on the ball and let one rip.

Through four games, Quinyon Mitchell has had two really good opportunities to get pick-sixes. It’s when he can put his foot in the ground to break back toward a receiver with his disgusting closing speed. The problem is that he hasn’t been able to come up with the ball. Darius Slay had some insight on why that’s happening.

Q has two challenges in this game: he has to try to corral one of Deshaun’s abysmal throws, and he has to figure out what Deshaun is actually going to do with the ball. He’ll have a receiver open, but won’t pull the trigger and then do something stupid instead.

If Quinyon can diagnose Deshaun's war-crime-worthy performance and snag a ball that was thrown to absolutely nobody, he’ll further his campaign for Defensive Rookie of the Year.

By the way, our guy Q is tied for the third-best odds to win DROY with Kamari Lassiter as of Friday morning at +600. He’s behind Liatu Latu and Jared Verse. Just a week ago, Quiyon’s odds were +1400. He’s sneakily making a name for himself and catching a stray from a metaphorically blind quarterback would do wonders with shooting him to the top of those odds. 

A.J. Brown can eat anyone and anything

Hey A.J., it’s been a while. It sure would be cool if you went out there on Sunday and let it absolutely rip. It sure would be cool if you put the team on your back and turned the Eagles passing game into the ultra-lethal railgun that we know it can be.

The last time we saw him, A.J. had five catches for 119 yards and a touchdown. That was against a Packers’ defensive backfield that was much more healthy than whatever the Browns will be throwing out there on Sunday.

It’s looking more and more like cornerback Denzel Ward won’t be available for this game because he hurt his hamstring in Week 5, and that injury also needed an MRI. That’s not it though, because both of their starting safeties Grant Delpit and Ronnie Hickman haven’t practiced because of a concussion and an ankle injury respectively.

If these injuries stick through Sunday, the Browns' defensive backs would be Cameron Mitchell, Greg Newsome II, and Martin Emerson Jr. as cornerbacks, and D’Anthony Bell and 34-year-old Rodney McLeod as safeties.

Also, the Browns love man coverage, and Brown kills man coverage. So this means that A.J. is going to be lined up against a cornerback who can’t hold his jock, and asking the safeties for help over the top would be like asking a three-year-old to help you unjam a running wood chipper. This has ‘bloodbath’ written all over it.

It’s not hard to say that A.J. could feast in any game that he’s in, but given the offensive hell that we’ve seen over the past three games, it’s going to feel really good to see number 11 annihilate a subpar secondary.

Zack Baun can devour Deshaun Watson

Deshaun Watson is the most-sacked quarterback in the league. 10 of his 26 sacks have been by linebackers, 1.5 of them have been by defensive backs, and the rest are by defensive ends, edge rushers, and tackles. 

The Browns' offensive line is in a tough spot right now. Their center Ethan Pocic left the week 5 game with an injury that warranted an MRI, and both of their tackles were limited on Wednesday and Thursday’s practices. We saw how much the Eagles' defensive line affected the Saints' offense when they had to switch things up and bring in a backup center, so hopefully, Jalen Carter and the gang can repeat that whole thing. If they do that, it’ll open things up for Baun.

Deshaun has an average time to throw of 2.95 seconds and he does this really dumb thing where the minute the pocket starts to collapse (or even move), he turns into a child in a house of mirrors and starts running into people. If he was a good person it would be sad to see that this is what he’s become. Since he’s not, it’s hilarious to watch because every time he gets sacked it’s a brutal hit.

This should play into Baun’s game pretty well. He’s very good at picking the right time and place to come downhill, and if he sees a pathetic quarterback looking like a scared child in the backfield, he should be able to come down and punish Deshaun for his indiscretions both on and off the field.