Lately (forever? since before time was born?), Aaron Boone has been managing the New York Yankees like he's been begging to be fired. This past weekend, after using Devin Williams to blow a save in Texas, then using him the very next day to break a scoreless tie, he inserted the right-hander for the third time in four games to pour gasoline on the 10th inning against the Houston Astros.
The third insertion of Williams was so foolish that Boone might as well have been driving around the parking lot doing donuts with the World Series trophy skittering around on the pavement behind him, or dripping wing sauce on Lou Gehrig's jersey.
With the Yankees set to honor another of their most famous employees, George Costanza, with a "sleeping under his desk" bobblehead next week against the Red Sox, it only feels fitting to lay out how closely Boone stacks up with his counterpart.
Somehow, this organization felt more stable under Mr. Morgan and Mr. Wilhelm, the latter of whom quite literally joined a cult.
For more news and rumors, check out MLB Insider Robert Murray’s work on The Baseball Insiders podcast, subscribe to The Moonshot, our weekly MLB newsletter, and join the discord to get the inside scoop during the MLB season.
Why Aaron Boone's managerial tenure with the New York Yankees is following the same path as George Costanza, assistant to the traveling secretary
- Every year starts so nicely, but turns sour around June. This was supposed to be the Summer of Boone!
- Boone has been prone to outbursts when pressed. Eyewitnesses say he's even been known to shout, "Boone likes his chicken spicy!" at the postgame spread.
- Boone is an extreme players' manager, probably because he wants so desperately to be liked. I heard he once turned his hat around backwards and told Aaron Judge he'd be "totally down" for some rock climbing.
- The Yankees lost their one true love last fall (a World Series title) due to a comedy of errors that was nearly as absurd as a fiancee licking toxic envelopes. Boone and Co. were then forced to postpone everything until the next spring. Rejuvenation, rebirth, everything's blooming ... all that crap!
- Despite the occasional excellent regular season, Boone's Yankees teams always experience (sigh) shrinkage under pressure. They were in the playoff pool! They were in the playoff pool!!!
- After last year's ALDS Game 2 defeat at the hands of the Kansas City Royals, Boone ate half an éclair out of the garbage.
The only difference, of course, is that when Boone faces his version of the Faceless Steinbrenner, it isn't George, calzone-crazed and blathering about holding people accountable. Instead, it's Hal lightly muttering about how the Jay Buhner-for-Ken Phelps trade actually saved the Yankees about $12 million in the aggregate.
Sadly, Boone would be so much better off if he'd merely embrace his Inner George and start doing the exact opposite of everything he'd ever done before. Devin Williams is tuna on toast. It's time for chicken salad, on rye, untoasted. Otherwise, by the end of the season, Boone will be unemployed and living with his parents.