Every Eagles fan’s worst nightmare, in one defensive 2025 lineup

There’s a big difference between an offensive player that you hate and a defensive player that you hate. The guys on offense typically rub you the wrong way off the field, whereas the guys on defense are mostly genuinely terrifying. 

People didn’t like Chad Ochocinco because he was a diva. People didn’t like Ndamukong Suh because he had a tendency to be kind of dirty (if he didn’t end his career as an Eagle, I would call him straight-up dirty). This is the All-Villain defense made from the Philadelphia Eagles' 2025 opponents.

Dirty players, numbskulls, and guys you love to hate

Yesterday was all about the All-Villain offense for the 2025 season, but the stars of the All-Villain team are on the defense, and the two team captains are Dre Greenlaw and Frankie Luvu. 

Linebacker:
Dre Greenlaw (Broncos) and Frankie Luvu (Commanders)

It took one play for Dre Greenlaw to make himself a Hall-of-Fame Villain. With 9:27 left in the third quarter of the Eagles/49ers game in Week 13 of the 2023 season, he bodyslammed DeVonta Smith out of bounds. The two were jawing at each other while they were getting up, and Big Dom DiSandro went to break it up. Greenlaw doesn’t like a peaceful arbiter, so he threw a jab at Big Dom. That ended in them both getting ejected from the game, Big Dom getting banned from the sidelines for the rest of the season, and one of the pieces of The Collapse. 

Greenlaw is the epitome of a villain, and he’s just about as far from a lovable villain as you can get… but Frankie Luvu is right up there with him.

Jalen Hurts was coming off an awesome game against the Steelers in Week 15 last season, and it looked like he was picking up right where he left off in Week 16 against Washington. That is, until Frankie Luvu came in with a filthy hit and bounced Hurts’ head off the ground, giving him a concussion and ending his regular season.

Luvu’s had a whole bunch of other garbage plays too, like when he tried to break Jared Goff’s brain in the Divisional round of the playoffs.

Luckily, Luvu got his comeuppance when he embarrassed his team and, more importantly, himself, in the NFC Championship game. He plays such a genuinely detestable style of football. What a clown.

Edge/Defensive End:
Jared Verse (Rams), Joey Bosa (Bills), and Micah Parsons (Cowboys)

Jared Verse is the most respectable of these guys. Before the divisional round of the playoffs, Verse said, “I hate Eagles fans… They’re so annoying… When I see that green and white, I hate it. I actually get upset. Like, I actually genuinely get hot.”

Then, both before and during the game, he got the smoke he was asking for. What makes him likable is that he played like a madman in that game. He talked the talk, but he also backed it up. He’s not a likable villain, but he’s incredibly respectable. He’s the kind of guy you give a one-finger salute to, but you’d shake his hand while you do it. 

Joey Bosa’s the exact opposite. In 2022, his Chargers gave up a 27-point lead to Doug Pederson’s Jaguars in the Wild Card round. In that game, Joey Bosa got mad because the refs didn’t call a false start, so he slammed his helmet on the ground, and the refs threw a flag on that (someone on the sideline gave Bosa his helmet back, which he immediately slammed again. It was pretty funny). 

The penalty allowed the Jaguars to go for a two-point conversion from the one-yard line and bring them within two points. They ended up kicking a field goal to win the game 31-30. The point is, Bosa’s hotheadedness played a decent part in the Chargers losing that game… he was also fined for the whole thing.

Fast forward two weeks to January 29th, 2023; the day the Eagles beat the brakes off the 49ers in the 2022 NFC Championship game. Joey Bosa came to that game to support his brother, Nick Bosa.

Unfortunately (read: fortunately) for him, an Eagles fan saw him outside the stadium and started chirping him. That’s when we got the beautiful “BOOOOOOSAAAAAAAA” video. 

If you’re a professional athlete and someone is barking at you, the second-worst thing you can do is acknowledge it. That’s like cutting your leg off, then jumping into shark-infested water. The worst thing you can do is bring up how rich you are.

“HOW ARE THOSE FINES BOSA?”
“Good, because I can afford ‘em-”
“SO CAN I”
“Because I’m ****ing rich-”
“ME TOOOO”

Bosa got put in a body bag and made himself look like an idiot while he did it. He’s a bottom-tier villain, but put on a top-tier villain performance. 

Micah Parsons is in an entirely different situation. He clearly hates Jerry Jones and the Cowboys, which makes him likable, but he’s also the best player on that team. It’s a classic case of, ‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend. The friend of my enemy is my enemy. Micah Parson is always going to be my enemy forever and ever.’

Let’s not forget last year, going into Week 16, the Cowboys were not mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. In order to stay alive, they needed to beat the Buccaneers, and the Eagles to beat the Commanders. 

Parsons was asked if he was going to be rooting for The Birds that week, and went off on a rant: “Nah. At this point, it’s f--- Philly now. Even if we got eliminated, like, I gotta crush Philly. F--- them. I hate them now.” 

You have to love it when a player is rooting for his team’s season to be over. Now we just have to cross our fingers and hope the Cowboys jack up their finances by paying him $42 million the day before the season starts, just like they always do. 

Interior Defensive Line:
Vita Vea (Buccaneers) and Dexter Lawrence (Giants)

Vita Vea gets on the All-Villain team because he’s one of the maybe three players in the entire NFL who can stop the Brotherly Shove by themselves. He’s a big, nasty six feet and four inches tall, 347-pound prototype of a nose tackle. The only time you ever have a sense of doubt when the Eagles line up on a third or fourth-and-one is when Vea is on the field. It stinks.

It’s kind of the same deal with Dexter Lawrence. He doesn’t seem like a bad guy or anything like that, but he’s just so incredibly good. There are very, very few people in the NFL that you think the Eagles' offensive line is going to have trouble with. Dexter Lawrence is one of those guys. If you’re able to put even a shred of doubt in my mind about the value of a degree from Stoutland University, you’re a villain.

Safeties:
Jaylen McCollough (Rams) and Xavier McKinney (Packers)

There were only about 19 total minutes in all of the playoffs when it seemed like the Eagles wouldn’t win the Super Bowl, and those 19 minutes started when the Rams’ Jaylen McCollough sacked Jalen Hurts with 3:51 seconds left in the third quarter of the divisional round; the play that messed up Hurts’ knee.

Was that a dirty hit? Hopefully not, but maybe. It is a safety getting a sack, which is something they don’t normally do, so it makes sense that it would look a little funky… But also, man, does that look funky. 

The NFL banned hip-drop tackles last offseason (and then never called a penalty for a single one all season), and this is very close to being a hip-drop tackle, and that’s the kind of injury that can come from a hip-drop tackle. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck… then Jaylen McCollough is a villain. 

Xavier McKinney gets on this list because he’s a menace and also because the Eagles can’t get away from him. The Giants drafted him in 2020 and he started getting real playing time in 2021, which lines up exactly with Jalen Hurts' career. 

The difference is that the Giants allowed McKinney to get picked up by another team in free agency before the 2024 season… and wouldn’t you know it? He went to the Packers, who the Eagles ended up playing twice that season, and will play at least once this season. 

So far, he’s played in seven games against Hurts, has been targeted 22 times, allowed two touchdowns, and has four interceptions. Simply put, he’s picked off Jalen Hurts more than any other player. If you give the Super Bowl MVP trouble, you’ll find yourself on the All-Villain team. 

Cornerbacks:
Tyrique Stevenson (Bears), Marshon Lattimore (Commanders)

Tyrique Stevenson isn’t on this list because of something he’s done to the Eagles; it’s about what he didn’t do to the Commanders. The Week 8 game between the Bears and the Commanders came down to a Hail Mary from Jayden Daniels. Typically, if you’re a defensive back who is on the field and you know a Hail Mary is coming, you’re going to want to be paying attention to what’s happening.

Tyrique Stevenson didn’t do that. Instead, he decided to taunt some fans while the play was going on, and then tipped the underthrown ball to Noah Brown for the game-winning touchdown.

Somehow, Commanders fans use that play as an example of how good Jayden Daniels is (when in reality it was all dumb luck). Also, that play gave that team a whole lot of undeserved juice in the middle of the season. He’s a villain, but not one that you’re scared of; he’s one that you’re just disappointed in. 

Marshon Lattimore’s always been a feisty cornerback, but he’s never really gotten into it with an Eagles receiver until the NFC Championship game. On a Tush Push that put the Eagles up 20-12, Lattimore and A.J. Brown had themselves a little scuffle. 

Now, to be fair, that’s pretty tame for a Lattimore fight. He and Mike Evans had a beef that even Mother Theresea couldn’t squash. 

There’s nothing better than a rivalry between a wide receiver and a cornerback, especially when that wide receiver outweighs the cornerback by 30 pounds. Hopefully Lattimore is still healthy in Week 16, so we get to see round two of this.

The bottom line here is that Marshon Lattimore decided to pick a fight with the best wide receiver in the history of the franchise, and for that, he’s a villain… and I imagine he’s totally fine with it.

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