Adam Wainwright is still pitching but is truly terrible in his new role

When you've dedicated all of your adult life to a singular pursuit, stepping away can be an immense challenge. That is to say that every professional athlete handles retirement in their own way. Some move seamlessly into coaching or front-office roles. Some become broadcasters or analysts. Some walk away from the game entirely an look for new physical and creative pursuits to fill the sudden void in their life. Some start podcasts where they can compain about how the new generation of stars have it far too easy. And then, some just spend all day on Twitter making dad jokes.

Can you guess which path Adam Wainwright took?

As a father of two in my early 40s, this humor is firmly in my wheelhouse but I know from personal experience that three-fourths of the people who read this probably groaned audibly and rolled their eyes. But I'd encourage those humor gate-keepers to let their imaginations go for a minute, picture Wainwright on the mound throwing absolute underhand heat at a bunch of eight-year-olds and fist-pumping each of his nine strikeouts.

What is Adam Wainwright actually doing with his retirement?

Wainwright retired at the end of the 2023 MLB season, after a storied 18-year career with the St. Louis Cardinals. He finished his career with 200 career wins, a 3.53 ERA and a pair of World Series titles.

Between his youth softball coaching responsibilities, he is a full-time MLB commentator for Fox Sports. He also just released his first country album and performed at the Grand Ole Opry. So it's clear he has options if his softball coaching and comedy careers don't work out.

While Wainwright appears to be enjoying his retirement, the Cardinals are certainly missing him. Despite some big offseason moves, especially to fill gaps in their pitching rotation, the Cardinals are 18-25 and dead last in the NL Central.