Braves get front row seat to trade deadline urgency, potential mistake to avoid

The Atlanta Braves aren't a serious baseball team, as illustrated by some delightful combination of Alex Anthopoulos and Brian Snitker's fading logic to send Allan Winans out there for Game 1 of a doubleheader vs. the Cincinnati Reds. He got lit up like a Christmas tree, but so did his Reds counterpart Frankie Montas. No reason for the Braves to trade for a pitcher this offense shredded...

At what point do I fully give up on this season and get ready for football? I am pretty much there. Week 0 will be here in a month. I sincerely doubt the Georgia Bulldogs will disappoint me this year, nor do I think the Atlanta Falcons will be as big of a sad bag of crap as the 2024 Braves are. This team has more quit in it than Bobby Hill. Do the Brothers Upton still play in the outfield for this afterthought?

Here is how I am feeling... Remember that GIF of delightful Philadelphia Phillies catcher J.T. Realmuto rolling his eyes and letting out a gigantic sigh in disgust over that dumb animal coming out of the bullpen? You know, that guy who ran like a buffoon in the rain, whilst slapping his limp wrists on his shoulder blades with every passing step? I feel like we're that Phillies team and everyone is laughing!

I would rather watch Olimar from Pikmin hum and throw candy from the mound than ever watch Winans pitch in an Atlanta uniform again. This team is stoic, wakes up and feels nothing. The Braves Way. Not since 2014 have I seen a sorrier bunch of losers rock the Atlanta A on their ballcaps. I understand that everyone and everything is broken, but get your collective mess together, y'all!

At this point, I would just rather let everyone who wants to to pass this team in the NL Wild Card race.

Brian Snitker starting Allan Winans was a GOB Bluth huge mistake

The Braves had a players' only meeting yesterday. My big question is who the hell even talked? I know that Snitker wasn't there, nor was new father Austin Riley. Coincidence? I have no earthly idea other than this team has no heart and very little passion. I understand that everyone loves to get hurt more than Eugene from Hey! Arnold, but where is the Mauve Avenger, dammit? I don't want to watch this.

The worst part in it all is I am taking my girlfriend to her first Braves game in a little over a week. I want her to enjoy all that The Battery and Truist Park has to offer. I will still root, root, root for the home team, but it will be more of the "you're doing great, sweetie!" variety. I feel like I'm watching a six-and-under attempt to swim freestyle in heat eight of a neighborhood swim meet. Hold onto that lane rope!

As with the five-year-old, they will forget about what just happened after kicking and screaming for a sleeve of Sour Punch more than they did even in the dang swimming pool. This was a team that was picked by many to win the World Series. At this rate, I don't even know if they will win 81 games. There is time to fix the leaky boat, but I am tired of having to dry my ass every time we go on a ride, Braves.

Alex, you have one job. Fix this leaky boat. If not, let it sink to the floor of Lake Lanier where it belongs.