Jose Altuve becomes MLB's first meme lord of 2024 with absolutely stupendous results

Outside of watching the Atlanta Braves pound a hated division rival into dust, this is my favorite thing about baseball. All the wacky, weird and wonderful things that MLB can unintentionally provide us. America's pastime often gives us the most unhinged content we have ever seen. The football world has Jim Harbaugh, and the baseball world, well, the baseball world now has meme lord Jose Altuve.

The best second baseman baseball has seen since arguably Joe Morgan went from a lovable little guy over in Houston to being the most despised short king since arguably Napoleon Bonaparte. Now, when I think of Altuve, I think of pounding trash cans, covering up collarbone tattoos and wearing a wire. Well, as fate would have it, I must add a fourth thing when I think of Altuve: Sacred meme lord.

I don't know the genesis of this magic moment, or really care for that matter. All I know is Altuve lost his helmet and his damn mind trying to get out of the way of this here baseball. The fact this once in a lifetime moment occurred vs. the New York Yankees made it even sweeter. The Houston Astros may own the Yankees in the playoffs, but it can be cool sometimes to actively shave your face in March.

Sweet chin music provided us with greater art than Mel Gibson's The Passion of Christ ever could.

I am not a fantastic driver either, but this dude's poor lady has certainly been through it all with him.

Everybody knows that elephants love peanuts and that they are more terrified of mice than poachers.

A lot has changed since 2022, but this November is going to try to prove the contrary to us all, man...

To me, I haven't seen a first grader be this frightened since going to the wrong house on Halloween.

Jose Altuve "officially" becomes the first meme of the 2024 MLB season

We were all put on this third rock from the sun to do something. None of us asked to be here, but you can thank Mom and Pop for that, brosef. Frankly, we just have to make the best of it. As a sports fan, the only other thing that breeds more positivity than MLB's Opening Day would be the NFL Draft. It was always the best time of the year for Detroit Lions fans until the came across Dan Campbell, man.

Back when Astros fans were wearing bags over their heads during games in 2013, Lions fans had been doing that for decades. While wearing a plastic bag for a space helmet is ill-advised, thanks to Dr. Mantis Toboggan's ground-breaking research on the subject, are you that much better off breathing in your own carbon dioxide filtered through a brown grocery bag? It is not like going home.

Truth be told, some Yankees fan is going to get this photo framed, or better yet, tattooed on their dominant arm's bicep to get ready to get ready for October. This fan will spend a quarter of their annual salary on said art, only to see the Yankees lose to the Astros in six games in October. It will be enough to convince Juan Soto to walk, but not enough for Hal Steinbrenner to just fire Aaron Boone.

Regardless, this is the best thing to happen to baseball since Nick Castellanos went deep to left.