Week 4 of the 2023 college football season didn't provide us with any of the upset specials our wretched gambling souls crave. Still, there is no such thing as a boring weekend in college football. Clemson and Florida State went down to the wire in Death Valley. Not to be outdone, Notre Dame's inability to count to 11 on consecutive plays caused them to miss out on maybe beating Ohio State.
Regardless of all that close, but no cigar, we are freaking due, bruh. Looking at all the matchups featuring ranked opponents, I have found five games that I think could be somewhat of those delectable upset specials we pretty much live for. Filling in for the Jesus of South Carolina that is Cody Williams, a Jesus of Suburbia will read from the Bible of None of the Above to give you the truth!
There is nothing wrong with me. This is how I'm supposed to be. In a land of make believe, don't believe in me if you don't want to. But if you trust me like you trust St. Jimmy, you have plenty of time to go to your nearest blood bank, tap the vein and sell your A, B or O for some cold hard cash. If you hate the market or index funds aren't your bag, I have some games for you. I'll make you proud, Cody!
Whatever units of gambling measure you use that are inferior to Buhler Bucks, you can be my guest.
College football upset picks: 5 teams on upset alert in Week 5
5. Texas Longhorns
Opponent: vs. No. 24 Kansas Jayhawks | Time: Saturday, Sept. 30, 3:30 p.m. ET (ABC) | Spread: Texas -16.5
Not that long ago, the god-awful monstrosity that was Kansas football beat a Texas team that was most definitely not back and threw a got-dang field goal post into a pond over there in Lawrence. The amount of fish it has provided a humble abode to can never be quantified. What can be quantified is the spread in this ranked Big 12 conference game. No. 3 Texas is laying 16.5 to visit No. 24 Kansas.
Lance Leipold's Jayhawks may be 4-0 and ranked No. 24, but they still have a ways to go to be as culturally significant as Mark Mangino's meatballs of '07. Todd Reesing, eat your heart out. Still, you have to remember two things about this quasi-rivalry series. One, Texas has lost to Kansas far too often recently. Two, we are overdue for a Steve Sarkisian special. And three, Kansas does not suck.
Frankly, Quinn Ewers and company may make this a moot point and beat Jalon Daniels' squad by three touchdowns. However, I think Kansas has an outside shot at an upset special, probably more in the vein of covering the not-so-robust spread. Since both teams are undefeated, you can expect for momentum to be a real thing. Again, these are 18 to 23-year-olds who do not really know any better.
This is not my favorite game for an upset to occur, but it is not that ridiculous for Texas to fall either.