Sicko mode: 5 funniest programs to run train in EA College Football 25's dynasty mode

You may be going the distance, but are you going for speed? Are you all alone in your time of need, trying desperately to figure out what team you are going to start dynasty mode with in EA College Football 25? For me, I am just going to go with my alma mater of Georgia because the Dawgs are awesome, and I don't really want to challenge myself just yet. But what if you are not like me at all?

Don't worry I did the hard work for you so you don't have to. I am talking about being the absolute biggest sicko this side of a flat screen, trying to find the most depraved teams possible to lead you to glory in this game. No, this is not trying to beat this game with the likes of Kent State and Vanderbilt. Love yourself a little more than that. But if you cannot get enough of Rutgers, I have teams for you...

So what I am going to do today is outline one team in each Power Four league, as well as one Group of Five team I think would be absolutely hilarious to run train on pain in EA College Football 25. Each team was carefully considered. While there may have been runner-ups in some of these leagues, others were as painfully obvious as the night is long. You have some dang vidya games to play, bruh.

Let's start with a decent program in the ACC that nobody who goes to that school even cares about.

ACC

Wake Forest Demon Deacons

For brother-in-law reasons, I have to go with the Wake Forest Demon Deacons out of the ACC. While my FanSided.com colleague Mark Powell wanted his beloved Pittsburgh Panthers for the top spot, Pitt actually won championships in the history of this planet. Unless you can get Dan Marino to abandon his car in the middle of a snowy intersection, inject my veins with Dave Clawson slow mesh!

Together, we can run the slowest read-option offense of all time. As you pick up one two-star after another, dozens upon dozens of Winston-Salem's finest will crawl into the Deacs Truist stadium to experience the cultural phenomenon that is the slow mesh. As if that wasn't enough, how about the Demon Deacon himself ripping Winstons while driving his hog around the infield like the badass he is.

If you ever wanted to know what it would be like to see your high school win a natty, ride with Wake!

Big Ten

Iowa Hawkeyes

There was no other choice. It was always Iowa. Yes, you could try to do the improbable at other Big Ten schools like Maryland, Northwestern, Purdue or Rutgers, but the Hawkeyes take the cake. You are taking over the Imitation Steelers from one of the most stubborn men alive in Kirk Ferentz. Oh, your offense will smell worse than a chicken coop, but that defense and special teams will be so glorious!

My absolute favorite part of possibly doing dynasty mode with Iowa is you can try to simulate first, second and third downs while on offense until your offensive rating improves to a very Chuck Long 85. Like when you blackout, your brain is doing you a favor in that you don't need to see this. Maybe you can win a national championship at Iowa quicker than you can win a Super Bowl in Pittsburgh?

Nothing will be sweeter than doing the Kinnick Wave on your quest for ring No. 5 for the thumb!

Big 12

BYU Cougars

The Big 12 was the hardest one for me to figure out. I wanted to go with a team with a winning tradition, an awesome venue, but a few difficult constraints to navigate. Beating out West Virginia by a hair, I went with BYU. To date, the 1984 Cougars are the only "Group of Five" team to win a national championship. Well, they are Power Four now, and they like it! Better yet, I like what BYU is all about.

Because of BYU's LDS ties, you can recruit nationally. In essence, you are already a lesser version of Notre Dame, a national independent with strong religious overtones, but tremendous football tradition. I would love nothing more than to run the Air Raid like noted BYU grad Mike Leach would have always wanted to do. Take what he did at Texas Tech in the 2000s and multiply that by five.

Imagine having BYU become QBU like it low-key kind of was under LaVell Edwards in the 1980s, baby.

SEC

Arkansas Razorbacks

As it was with the Big 12, the SEC was not an easy conference to figure a team out for this. I ended up going with the Arkansas Razorbacks over the South Carolina Gamecocks, mostly because of Woo Pig Sooie and the fact that you have so many big-pocketed boosters: Jerry Jones, the Walton-Penners and the Tyson Chicken family. You know what? Why not try to win a national title with Bobby Petrino?

My best friend said this to me verbatim after going to a UGA-Arkansas game tailgate up in Fayetteville when I was in school. "There's something in the water up there, Buhler. That's all I know, man!" Point taken. See, I want to inject that energy into making Arkansas football the wackiest, weirdest and most wonderful college football program of all time. Heck, have Spencer Hall in overalls coach this team.

Fact: There is only one Power Four team in the state of Arkansas, and this one is for the Razorbacks!

Group of Five

Hawaii Rainbow Warriors

There were so many ways to drive this into the ditch, but we're island hopping on this one, baby! That's right. The clearest and most obvious choice to represent the Group of Five in this exercise has to be the Mountain West's Hawaii Rainbow Warriors. No, this team is not a joke. Timmy Chang coaches this team. I grew up loving watching this guy play at night. I remember June Jones fondly.

Although EA Sports may allegedly have a generic stadium in place of the Ching Complex, it's about that action, baby! No team in college football history has the allure of great gamblers quite like the Rainbow Warriors. The best part about winning the Mountain West and the Group of Five on the reg with these boys is that they will be getting lei-ed every time they get off the plane as total rockstars.

Air Raid be damned, I'm running the Run and Shoot like I'm coaching Jeff George and the '95 Falcons.