Game of the weekend: Newcastle vs. Chelsea (Sunday, 7 a.m. EST)
Only one of two games on the slate where both teams have something on the line, and they both have the same thing on the line. That would be finishing in the top five for a spot in next season's Champions League. Newcastle had a minor hiccup last week, drawing away to Brighton. But a win here, while not guaranteeing a top five spot, will get them pretty close to it.
Chelsea have used a nice bend in the schedule to put together a five-game unbeaten streak, though still managed to draw with Ipswich at home during that. Newcastle won't still be bleary-eyed like Liverpool was last week, though. Now that Romeo Lavia has reattached all his limbs, how he holds up against Newcastle's midfield at St. James's Park will be the top item to watch on how this one goes. If Chelsea were to lose here, it could get very itchy for them, as they finish the season at Nottingham Forest, in what is looking like a winner-take-all afternoon.
And the rest...
Fulham v. Everton (Saturday, 10 a.m. EST)
Now the end-of-season faire, where everyone is enjoying the rare sunshine in England and being reminded of the slice of heaven that a cold beer on a warm day truly is. Everton close out Goodison Park next week, and that's where their focus will be. Fulham could still claim eighth, which could get a Europa Conference spot if Man City win the FA Cup. But losing three of their last four isn't exactly springing them toward that.
Ipswich vs. Brentford (Saturday, 10 a.m. EST)
Brentford are one point behind 8th, should that come to matter, and they are much hotter than Fulham, having won three in a row and not lost in five. About all Ipswich has to care about is whatever players can make themselves attractive enough to be bought by other Premier League teams to avoid another season in the Championship. But hey, whoever fails to accomplish that might appear on "Welcome To Wrexham!"
Southampton vs. Manchester City (Saturday, 10 a.m. EST)
City haven't officially locked down a top five spot yet, but taking the easy W here would pretty much do it. Southampton still need one point to avoid tying the worst Premier League season ever. This would clearly be the funniest place to get it, but the world isn't really interested in our comedy tastes at the moment.
Wolves vs. Brighton (Saturday, 10 a.m. EST)
Brighton are only a point off eighth as well, and have a pretty cushy schedule to try and lock it down. Or it is on paper, except Wolves have found joy in life and have kept winning and playing well even after they secured their safety. They could have gotten something out of their trip to Man City last week and were a little unfortunate not to. Unlike others, merely having the chance to be devilish little imps has been enough for Wolves to turn up and be annoying for opponents for the past month or so. We should all take such pride in our work.
Bournemouth vs. Aston Villa (Saturday, 12:30 p.m. EST)
The only other match where both teams have something on it. Bournemouth currently hold the 8th spot, and while they haven't lost in five, there's still some disappointing results in there. They couldn't beat a 10-man Crystal Palace, and couldn't hold on against a 10-man Manchester United. Those four points lost with an extra man would see them basically out of sight for 8th and would have actually given them the chance to pull even with Villa for 7th here. Alas, a team can't wish their way higher up the table. Villa still aren't done in the race for top five. They'll need to run the table and get help, but after this they get both the Europa League finalists who definitely will not care about their league matches. This is far and away their toughest remaining game.
Manchester United vs. West Ham United (Sunday, 9:15 a.m. EST)
United clinched their spot in the Europa League final yesterday, so they'll be cleaning the booze stains out of their shirts for this one. "Booze stains" is a pretty accurate way of describing West Ham as a whole.
Nottingham Forest vs. Leicester (Sunday, 9:15 a.m. EST)
Forest's charge is basically to match or better Chelsea's next two results, leaving their encounter with Chelsea on the final day of the season as a make-or-break event. Getting Leicester and West Ham leading up to that should make it a pretty easy task, and they should have more vibes and juice for this one given that Leicester is a local rival. Leicester have all the vibes and juice of an office that's just been told this is their last day.
Tottenham vs. Crystal Palace (Sunday, 9:15 a.m. EST)
Palace's entire raison d'etre is the following week and the FA Cup final. They'll spend 90 minutes here trying not to get hurt. Spurs' entire raison d'etre is the Europa League Final in 10 days. They'll spend 90 minutes trying to not get hurt, except you won't really notice the difference from any other Spurs Premier League match.
Liverpool vs. Arsenal (Sunday, 11:30 a.m. EST)
Boy, the starch went out of this one, huh? Arsenal will have to not only give Liverpool a Guard of Honor through gritted teeth (do Arsenal do anything without gritted teeth?), but they'll do it days after getting bounced from the Champions League to PSG. At least Liverpool can empathize on that. Liverpool will probably be a little more motivated to play than they were last week, as they won't want to lay an egg at home. Arsenal could actually be level on points with City by the time this kicks off, and another loss could see them end the weekend with Newcastle one point behind them and Forest only three, meaning their top five spot wouldn't be totally guaranteed. It'll still be a party atmosphere at Anfield. Whether Arsenal are the partner dragged to it and they don't know anybody when they'd rather be watching TV, we'll just wait and see.