Premier League winners and losers from Matchday 23: Debuts great and terrible, plus some death threats

We’re back to Premier League action after some exciting Champions League matches in the middle of the week. This past weekend gave us some great highs and some really low lows.

Here they are.

Winners from Premier League Matchday 23

Dango Ouattara

His hat trick for Bournemouth doubled his goal total for the season. The striker from Burkina Faso was in imperious form in their domination of Nottingham Forest, as was the rest of his team’s offense. Justin Kluivert had a goal, an assist, and another goal that was called back for offside. If you didn’t know, you’d think that the Cherries were the team chasing a Champions League place. Oh, look: They’re just one point in the standings behind fourth-place Manchester City. Weirder things have happened.

Manchester City

Not many teams can treat Chelsea as a get-well opponent, but that’s exactly what City did after their collapse in Paris, beating the Blues 3-1 at home. Joško Gvardiol created all sorts of offense from his left-back position, Erling Haaland scored and set Phil Foden free on his breakaway goal, and Omar Marmoush looks like a lively new addition to the attack. Their fans can breathe a little easier.

Bryan Mbeumo

The Brentford striker looked silly when he did his little hop and his penalty kick caromed off the post against Crystal Palace. Fortunately, two of Palace’s defenders were generous enough to encroach on the penalty box too early (the call was ticky-tack, but correct), and the Cameroonian got a chance to retake the kick. He buried it, saving himself some embarrassment, keeping his record on spot kicks perfect, and helping the Bees win on the road.

Romain Esse

His team lost, but the 19-year-old English winger made his Premier League debut for Crystal Palace, and 26 seconds after he entered the game, he scored with his first touch of the ball. That’s how you start, kid.

Toby Collyer

Playing only his third game for Manchester United’s senior team, the academy graduate cleared Joachim Andersen’s header off the goal line to preserve his team’s 1-0 victory over Fulham. That will buy the 21-year-old some credibility with his veteran teammates.

West Ham United

They conceded a goal early at Villa Park but otherwise weathered a first-half storm from the home team, and then Emerson Palmieri headed in a cross for Hammers to snatch a point.

Liverpool

Ho-hum. Another week, another easy win. They’re making this title race really dull, which I’m sure suits them and their fans just fine.

Losers from Premier League Matchday 23

Abdukodir Khusanov

Manchester City’s new $41.5 million signing from Lens made his Premier League debut, and within three minutes his weak defensive header went straight into the path of Nicolas Jackson for Chelsea’s opening goal. On top of that, he drew a yellow card for fouling Cole Palmer and got subbed out early in the second half. The Kazakh defender did not make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan. 

Robert Sánchez

The keeper got caught in no-man’s land on Erling Haaland’s breakaway, allowing the Norwegian to execute a beautiful chip for his goal. After the game, he received the dreaded vote of confidence from Coach Enzo Maresca. Blues fans must be pining for the days of Kepa Arrizabalaga, who’s out on loan at Bournemouth and playing better than Sánchez right now.

Tottenham Hotspur

Spurs are like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re — okay, I’ll stop. This week they went into halftime up 1-0 and coasting, and then a five-minute switch-off after the break handed Leicester two goals and a much-needed win. Firing Ange Postecoglou won’t solve all the team’s problems, but surely things have to start there. Right?

Everybody who watched Brighton vs. Everton

Seriously, the highlight of that game was a VAR check that gave Everton the penalty that turned into the game’s only goal. Other than that, it was a lot of dull midfield play and a lot of shouting and gesticulation by Jordan Pickford. I know, what else is new?

Everybody who threatened Michael Oliver

For the record, I didn’t like the red card that the referee showed to Arsenal’s Myles Lewis-Skelly. That foul definitely merited a yellow, but it happened too quickly for any malicious intent to be evident, and the defender didn’t plant his studs on Wolves’ Matt Doherty. Sending the referee death threats, though? I mean, Arsenal won the freaking game anyway. An uncomfortable hour-long discussion with the police is exactly what those people deserve.

João Gomes

You could argue that the Wolves player should have been sent off for kicking the ball away after picking up his first yellow card against Arsenal. It was really stupid, then, when the Brazilian midfielder tried to smoosh Jurriën Timber’s ankle and got himself the red card to restore even strength against a team that was down to 10 men themselves. That opened the door for Riccardo Calafiori’s superb game-winner and the Gunners keeping pace with Liverpool. Wolverhampton are now in the relegation zone.

Aston Villa

You guys had better win the Champions League, because otherwise, your chances of competing in it next year are growing dimmer and dimmer.