Week 2 of the Premier League saw the opening of a new stadium, a new kid winning the week’s most dramatic match, and everybody deciding that selling one guy is going to solve everything at Manchester United somehow. Read my winners and losers for the level-headed take on the insanity that went down.
Premier League winners from Week 2
Rio Ngumoha
That sound you just heard was all the Newcastle fans and everybody else who hates Liverpool screaming “Who??!!” in the same tone of disbelief. But isn’t this what happens with winning teams? They get goals from unlikely players deep into stoppage time and come out with victories that they shouldn’t claim. The 16-year-old Chelsea academy product made his Premier League debut as a substitute for Cody Gakpo, and found himself unmarked when Dominik Szoboszlai let Mohamed Salah’s cross run through him. The youngster made no mistake when he fired the shot first-time inside Nick Pope’s far post to stun St. James Park into silence and give Liverpool the three points. It was all enough to make a dyed-in-the-wool American say, “Bloody hell!” in a Geordie accent. Kid, this is the greatest moment of your young career. Enjoy it.
William Osula
What could have been, am I right? On another day, we’re talking about him as the hero who brought his 10-man team back for an unlikely draw, and about Liverpool’s defensive frailties that caused them to throw away two points. It is worrying that the champions conceded two goals on brutally simple plays, but let’s spare a thought for the 22-year-old Dane who came on late and then ran onto Nick Pope’s long ball (after it spilled off the back of Ibrahima Konaté) and finished past Alisson for the equalizer. It was for nought as far as the game was concerned, but with Alexander Isak in limbo and Anthony Gordon suspended, he might just get a chance now as the spearhead of Newcastle's offense.
Hill-Dickinson Stadium
The new grounds hosted its first Everton home match, and the faithful watched the Toffees ease to victory over Brighton, with new Evertonian Jack Grealish assisting on the opening goal by Iliman Ndiaye. It was all good vibes in the blue half of Liverpool, at least until that game won by the red half.
Spurs’ hex over Manchester City
It doesn’t matter who plays for or coaches these teams, Tottenham just somehow gets these big wins over City. This time it was Richarlison coming up with two assists and James Trafford making a terrible error in City’s net in Spurs’ 2-0 triumph at the Etihad. Of course, the visitors also made their own comedy error close to their own goal, but it went unpunished, and Spurs came away with three points again. This sport makes no sense sometimes.
Viktor Gyökeres
He bagged two goals in Arsenal’s 5-0 tonking of Leeds. After his eminently forgettable debut against Manchester United, the Swedish striker who cost $85.4 million to acquire needed to impress the home fans, and the Emirates Stadium could feel his relief after he found the back of the net. We’ll see what his role is with Eberechi Eze coming in and Bukayo Saka set to miss some time (though not as much as Arsenal feared), but that brace feels good to have for Gyökeres.
Josh Cullen and Jaidon Anthony
We do like it when the newly promoted teams come to play. Thanks to Burnley’s captain and striker, all of the teams that went up last season have now won games. It was Anthony who assisted Cullen for the opener against Sunderland (only the Irishman’s ninth club goal in the last 10 seasons), then Cullen hit a long ball that gave Anthony a breakaway chance that he converted after rounding the goalkeeper to give Burnley a win in their home opener at Turf Moor.
Brazilians
Lucas Paquetá started the West Ham-Chelsea game with a fantastic goal that proved to be the lone bright spot for the Hammers. João Pedro grabbed the equalizer for the Blues, and Estevão provided the assist for Enzo Fernández’ goal in Chelsea’s rout. Their offense was electric, and without Cole Palmer, too. (He got hurt during the pre-game warm-up.) Chelsea’s strength in depth seems to have carried over from the Club World Cup.
Premier League losers from Week 2
West Ham
One goal scored and eight goals conceded in their first two matches, and the defense looked sieve-like in the loss to Chelsea. If there aren’t changes to their roster or their coaching in short order, East London will be a miserable place to be.
Aston Villa’s offense
Returning from his successful loan to Bayer Leverkusen, Emiliano Buendía did look bright in Villa’s attack, but this is still two matches without a goal. While there’s too much talent here for the goal drought to continue much longer, they are nevertheless feeling the loss of Marcus Rashford and Marco Asensio. The loss away to Brentford won’t help, either.
Bruno Fernandes
Everyone seems to be blaming him for Manchester United’s dropped points against Fulham. It’s true that he missed that penalty pretty badly, but given his overall record on penalty kicks, I’d write that off as an aberration. I saw a perfectly ordinary draw between two perfectly ordinary teams, and I don’t understand why the Portuguese player has been selected as the problem when there are so many problems in his dysfunctional organization. He should probably spend the next week unplugging from the internet and taking a few extra penalties in practice just to get back in the groove. As for what United should do, I’m at a loss as to where to begin.
Anthony Gordon
Look, I like the guy. He’s a nice, incisive attacking player who’s been forced into a situation that doesn’t suit him. Isak’s transfer saga means that he has to play as a lead striker, and that’s just not what he’s for. None of that, though, explains why he went through the back of Virgil van Dijk’s leg and picked up a straight red card just before halftime against Liverpool. He and his feathery hair will be in the stands for at least the Magpies’ next match at Leeds.
Matz Sels
How exactly do you get booked for time-wasting in the 52nd minute when your team is losing? Somehow the Nottingham Forest goalkeeper managed it. His team came back to earn the draw against Crystal Palace, but I don’t know what that yellow card was all about.