Mark Twain was a big enough weirdo that had he been alive now, he very well may have ended up a Spurs supporter, if only to mine for comedic material. Luckily, such a genius provides us with enough that we can still apply his work to things that happen today, even when they're as patently farcical as Tottenhanm Hotspur F.C. "History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
Rewind a year ago, and Manchester United were coming into the FA Cup final off a disappointing season. They had scraped by Coventry City in the FA Cup semifinal by literally a toenail, limped into the final against crosstown rival Man City after finishing eighth in the league, the atmosphere around the club would best be described as "funeral chic."
They then proceeded to catch City napping, winning the FA Cup, which convinced them things weren't as bad as they seemed, prevented them from firing Erik Ten Hag and spending the summer reshaping the team to the plans of a new manager, and hitting the new season with a fresh outlook. That then begat a disastrous start to this season, merely a continuation of the season before, which caused them to fire Ten Hag midseason last fall, forcing Ruben Amorim to work with a squad that couldn't be less built to how he wants to play, now without the infusion of cash they would need to reshape it they would have had last summer, which turned into the biggest disaster of a season they've had in a few decades. Which leaves a far bigger malaise to try and rebuild the whole club this summer than they would have had last one had they pulled the trigger then, and with less money or allure.
So over to you, Spurs. The same disaster of a season as a whole, and a far bigger one than United had in 2023-24, but one with the similar final sheen of a trophy. A different trophy, to be sure, with far bigger rewards. United's FA Cup only got them to the Europa League. Spurs get to play in the Champions League. The parameters, i.e. money, are different.
But how different? If anything, Spurs' Champions League berth makes it a more attractive job than United's was last season ... if it wasn't Spurs. Spurs' "Spursiness" has been established for a long time now, and even with the promise of Champions League, managerial candidates might see how Daniel Levy has broken the spirits of Antonio Conte or Mauricio Pochettino and decide it's not worth it. They're still a basketcase. It's not automatic that Tottenham could upgrade at manager simply because they want to.
Certainly, the players have more connection to Ange Postecoglou at Tottenham than the players at United did for Ten Hag. There were already rumblings before that FA Cup win that they had tuned Ten Hag out. One wonders if that semifinal and final had been reversed, and United won the FA Cup by desperately surviving Coventry on penalties in the final, if Ten Hag would have survived. Likely not.
Meanwhile, Spurs were able to gut out results from difficult situations in the Europa League, coming from behind against AZ Alkmaar, gritting out a defensive stubborness in Germany against Frankfurt, and then parking the bus against United in the final to protect a 1-0 lead and really never be under all that much threat of losing it. A team can't do that without some unity and belief, even if they abandoned the league in January.
Big Ange showed the flexibility that Amorim never did, bending Spurs into defensive stalwarts to get through the Europa League. But was that a shotgun-wedding arrangement thanks to injuries and the way the draw worked out? Certainly he's not going to send Spurs out to play that way next season in the Premier League. Even if he wanted to, there are managers better conditioined to do that, if that's what Spurs want. And they don't want that, not with this squad.
Postecogclou's problems could only be exacerbated by a Champions League campaign. During the group stage of the Europa League, Spurs could rotate the lineup heavily. Even with that rotation and rest for the first choice 11, Postecoglou's "Battle of Stirling" tactics led to an injury crisis that pervaded throughout the season that wrecked the league campaign. It's much harder to rotate when the midweek trips are to the Nou Camp or San Siro than to Qarabag or Ferencváros. Can Ange be trusted to not have half the squad in a hyperbaric chamber by Halloween again?
Since November of 2024, Spurs have won 23 of 65 league games. That's nowhere near good enough, even if they chucked half of this league season. Had they tried for the whole of the Premier League season, how much better would it really be? 12th? 13th? Wouldn't those spot still be a fireable offense?
Spurs need to ask themselves what's going to get better and what's going to change under Postecoglou with the added burden of Champions League games? Will he be a tad more conservative? Will their press make sense at least 25 percent of the time? Can he keep the most important players healthy? They can't know, and making plans on hopes and promises is how a club gets in a United-like mess.
These are tough questions, but Spurs don't need to look any further than the opponent they just sentenced to the abyss last night to see what happens if they get them wrong.