The trade talk about Ndamukong Suh just won’t seem to end, even though everyone believes the chances are very slim that Suh will actually be traded. In case you needed more confirmation of the unlikelihood of Suh being dealt, Mike Florio reports that, according to league sources, “no discussions or negotiations aimed at a possible trade have occurred.”
Conclusion: Ndamukong Suh is not going to be traded. He and the Lions will at some point work out a new contract, or he will play out his current contract and become a free agent after 2015. Or something else will happen to him, like maybe he will grow gills and swim away to the underwater kingdom to become king of the mermaids.
Or maybe he will grow rockets out of his feet and fly to outer space and become king of the space people. Or perhaps he’ll quit football and take up some new sport, like go-kart racing or mini-golf or snooker.
All those scenarios seem more likely than the possibility of Ndamukong Suh getting traded. So we should probably stop talking about it.
Seriously tough, Suh would make a great king of the mermaids. Or mermen. Or merpeople. Or whatever the hell you’re supposed to call them. Do merfolk even have male-female sexual parts? They have tails, I know that.