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Miami Hurricans sign Michael Jackson

By Stanford Crissey

The Miami Hurricanes have added a new member to their program. Credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports
The Miami Hurricanes have added a new member to their program. Credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports /
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No, not that Michael Jackson.

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Man, why do I feel like someone else has that name? It seems awfully familiar…

(Thinking…)

(Reaches into vault of Michael Jackson puns, proceeds to use all of them).

Well, it appears that the Miami Hurricanes can add the Man in the Mirror to their recruiting haul. In a move that should be a real thriller for Miami fans, the King of Pop has agreed to join the team, and has told the other programs pursuing him to beat it. It has long been rumored that Miami wanted to be startin’ somethin’ with Jackson, and with signing day upon us, they wouldn’t stop ’til they got enough (players, that is). Now Jackson, with the long recruiting process over, can moonwalk off into the sunset.

OK, I’m done. Probably.

The Huricanes welcomed Jackson, who is 18 and has never been known as the King of Pop, into the fold with this tweet:

The 6’2″, 190-pound Jackson is a star cornerback from Spain Park High School in Alabama. Jackson was also recruited by Clemson, LSU, Georgia, and Nebraska. He is a three-star prospect according to 247 sports, who ranked him number 20 in the state and number 565 nationally. Jackson fills an area of need for the Hurricanes, as they only had one cornerback committed prior to his decision.

Despite being from Alabama, Jackson told AL.com that he was not interesting in remaining in the state for college.

“I do need to go off to college, I need to get outside of the state of Alabama,” Jackson said. “I need to see some different places. Staying close to home won’t make me play any better.”

Prior to signing day (today) the Hurricanes, who were 6-7 last year, were ranked 18th by Rivals, 20th by ESPN, 21st by 247Sports (composite ratings) and 30th by Scout.

One more pun, OK? Please?

Miami football has become known in recent years for scandals, and they hope to avoid one with Jackson. A woman named Billie Jean, who has been described by reports as “like a beauty queen from a movie scene,” has a child she claims is Jackson’s, which he responded, “Billie Jean is not Billie Jean is not my lover. She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one, but the kid is not my son.”

OK, now I’m done, I promise.

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