Denver acquires Cenk “The Tank” Akyol
By Adam Mares (@Adam_Mares)
When you’re team is the laughing-stock of the NBA, it’s important to find happiness in the small victories that a season will bring. For Denver Nuggets fans, one of those small victories was getting rid of JaVale McGee. There were nine stages of excitement and confusion that all Nuggets fans experienced as the information about the McGee trade was slowly released. They went something like this:
Stage 1 – Euphoria
We traded away JaVale McGee!!! We no longer have to pay him $23 million to sit on the bench and occasionally embarrass us on Shaqtin’ a fool!!!
Stage 2 – Mild Confusion
Twitter keeps telling me that we got draft rights to some guy named “Cent” Akyol but when I google that name nothing comes up… He must be under the radar! I can’t believe Philly would trade away a prospect for JaVale McGee! Cent might be the next Dirk Nowitzki. Or Manu Ginobili. Or some crazy combination of both!
Stage 3 – Creative Expression
What should I tweet out? How about, “Nuggets trade $23 million dollars for 1 Cent.” Or maybe just, “This deal makes perfect Cents.”
Stage 4 – Clarification
Turns out “Cent” is actually “Cenk” Akyol. Well, so much for the awesome headline puns. What rhymes with Cenk? Tank? And according to Wikipedia it says that he was drafted in… 2005? He’s 27 years old!
Stage 5 – Positive Spin
Maybe he’s a late bloomer? And what could it hurt? It saves us money and we didn’t give up a draft pick or anything like that. This is still a great trade.
Stage 6 – New Details Emerge
Turns out we DID give up a 1st round pick. And the rights to somebody named Chukwudiebere Maduabum. Hmm….
Stage 7 – More Positive Spin
Chuk is good but he’s no Cent… I mean Cenk. And that 1st round pick is heavily protected. It’s basically a 2nd rounder. Probably won’t find anyone in the draft that late who is as good as Cent… I mean Cenk.
Stage 8 – Empty, Hollow, Silence
Stage 9 – Acceptance
At least we don’t have JaVale McGee on the team anymore. Good trade.