Director Billy Corben tears into soccer on a podcast (video)

Cocaine Cowboys director Billy Corben apparently does not hold the game of soccer in high regard.

While soccer is recognized as the most popular sport in the world, it still isn’t for everyone.

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Director Billy Corben, best known for his 2006 film Cocaine Cowboys, went on The Jobless Zombie Show podcast a couple of days ago. Corben was on the show for over two hours to discuss a large range of topics, and a few minutes of his time was spent ripping the sport of soccer into pieces (warning: some NSFW language).

In case you didn’t want to watch the entire video, here were his main issues that he brought up with soccer.

"“Here’s the World Cup: they are getting everyone all riled up. It’s US vs. the UK – it’s like the American Revolution all over again. Let’s get pumped – USA! USA! You’re all excited, you’re like: ‘we’re gonna slaughter these f***s,’ and you’re getting all into it and then…it ends in a draw. What kind of bulls*** sport ends in a tie?”"

It’s hard to argue with his point here, really. A soccer game that ends in a draw is the most anticlimactic ending in all of sports. It’s just brutal to watch something for over two hours and have it end without a winning and losing team. Contrary to that, it has to be a weird feeling for players – giving it your all only for it to end in a tie. Do they feel satisfied or dissatisfied? It is incredibly hard to score in soccer, that’s understood, but it would be nice to see them have some type of penalty kick shootout to break a tie.

"“Soccer, the ball’s the size of a thimble, the net’s the size of a f****ing mack truck! It’s like, how do you not get this ball in this damn net? You know why, because it takes too long to run the damn field!”"

Obviously Corben is making things too simple here. Yes, if someone was right in front of a goal they would easily be able to score all the time, but that’s not how soccer works. It’s extremely difficult to just get in scoring position, and that’s why soccer is the hardest sport to score in.

"“Sports are a race against time. Even in baseball where there is no clock, there is the clock – it’s the three outs. That’s the clock, and you’re trying to last as long as you can for. Everything else is a countdown, you’re running out of time, you need overtime. Soccer, the clock goes up! It goes up and it goes up and it goes up and it goes on forever.”"

Corben’s last point is a very real issue that is held by a lot of people. While there is a clock, it is always going up, and that doesn’t really give you the feeling that you’re up against the clock. Also, the game still won’t end once the clock reaches the end because the referee will add more time on due to previous stoppages. It can be quite a drag sometimes.

At the end of the day, Corben’s thoughts are probably the same as a lot of Americans’ who still aren’t on board the soccer train. Soccer is continuing to get bigger and bigger, so who knows, maybe these anti-soccer people will have a change of heart one of these days.

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