Fansided

See this wedding cake with Nick Saban riding an elephant

By Stanford Crissey

Apr 18, 2015; Tuscaloosa, AL, USA; Alabama Crimson Tide head coach Nick Saban during the A-day game at Bryant Denny Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Marvin Gentry-USA TODAY Sports
Apr 18, 2015; Tuscaloosa, AL, USA; Alabama Crimson Tide head coach Nick Saban during the A-day game at Bryant Denny Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Marvin Gentry-USA TODAY Sports /
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Nick Saban rides an elephant on a wedding cake

Love can be represented in many, many ways. For some, it’s a ring on a finger; for some, it’s a particular photograph or memory; for some, it’s Nick Saban riding an elephant; for others, it’s a song or a movie.

Did you see one item in that list that wasn’t like the others?

Apparently for one groom of a recent wedding, the best representation of everlasting love is a football field cake, topped by a figurine of Alabama head coach Nick Saban riding an elephant.

No, really:

…there aren’t words.

Now, apparently this wasn’t the wedding cake itself, but the “groom’s cake,” which I had to Google to verify that it is, in fact, a thing. According to Wikipedia, which is never wrong, groom’s cakes are particularly popular in the South, and were traditionally chocolate or cheesecakes because such flavors were “better served to ‘the stronger sex'”. Good start, it’s already a tradition rooted in sexism.

But there’s nothing mentioned there about football coaches riding elephants. One would assume that isn’t a traditional part of weddings; but it should be now. We have all seen the light, and the light has led us to this cake. May it be a part of all of our important ceremonies and celebrations, from now until the end of time.

Where did this idea come from? How can we mine the brain which thought this up for its caverns of knowledge?

It’s unclear how this football-themed cake is supposed to represent true love, but that doesn’t seem to have been the first priority here, which maybe doesn’t bode well for the marriage.

But there is another twist in this unfolding saga, and it’s one no one could have seen coming: Apparently the cake was a Trojan horse all along. The bride, a Florida graduate, sandbagged her groom’s elephant-riding dreams by making the inside of the cake orange and blue, Gator colors.

Saboteur! This should be an interesting marriage. It was built on sabotage, school pride, and elephant-riding. What will it become? There’s no telling.

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