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Swapped Headlines: Sepp Blatter says ‘I’m out!’

By Lauren Lapka

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Ever feel like you’re reading an article and the headline doesn’t accurately reflect the content. Well I look at some of the bigger stories in  sports and come up with some headlines I think are better suited to the actual story.

“Blatter: ‘I’m out!’ ”

It was less than a week ago that it was announced seven FIFA officials were arrested as part of a United States Justice Department corruption investigation. Just two days after that, Sepp Blatter was re-elected as president at the FIFA Congress.

Now, Blatter has decided to step down in wake of the corruption scandal. In his statement he said, “While I have a mandate from the membership of FIFA, I do not feel that I have a mandate from the entire world of football –the fans, the players, the clubs, the people who live, breathe and love football as much as we all do at FIFA. Therefore, I have decided to lay down my mandate (as president) at al extraordinary elective congress.”

Blatter was not one of the 14 indicted, sources told ABC News that Blatter was being investigated by the FBI and U.S prosecutors as part of the probe. They also said they are conducting the FIFA probe the same way they would handle a mob racketeering case.

“Bulls shock everyone by picking up new coach Hoiberg just 5 days after letting Thibodeau go” *sarcasm*

Just five days after the release of coach Tom Thibodeau, the Chicago Bulls have announced the hiring of Iowa State’s former coach Fred Hoiberg. To those watching to situation closely this really comes as no surprise. The damaged relationship between management and Thibodeau had become public awhile ago, and it only got worse.

It would have been an act of some divine intervention that he would have stayed on as head coach next year. Hoiberg is a former Bull himself and has a close relationship with VP John Paxson. Also, before he was a Bull and played at Iowa State, GM Gar Forman was an assistant there. Networking is everything!

“Clayton Kershaw is a baseball God!”

Now I know some of you may disagree, given his start to this season, but come on… we all know how amazing he is. He is finally getting out of his funk from earlier this season and his performance Monday night should be enough proof. In their 11-4 win over the Colorado Rockies, Kershaw struck out seven, walked one, and only gave up five hits. The start before that he struck out 10 and pitched seven shutout innings. That’s just what he did on the mound. At the plate Monday, he went 3-for-3 one of which was a double and another an RBI.

So for those of you who were doubting him or have been unimpressed, just don’t forget this reigning Cy Young and MVP winner finished last season with a 1.77 ERA.

“Mats Zuccarello: ‘You call that a head injury?’ “

This is kind of two stories in one. After Golden State Warriors shooting guard Klay Thompson suffered a concussion in Game 5 of the Western Conference Finals, he has finally been cleared to play in Game 1 of the NBA Finals. He returned to practice Monday and told reporters he feels great.

It was revealed on Monday that New York Rangers forward Mats Zuccarelllo sustained a head injury so severe that he couldn’t speak for four days. During Game 5 of their opening series against the Pittsburgh Penguins, Zuccarello was hit by a puck shot by his teammate Ryan McDonagh. The hit was so hard that he suffered a hairline fracture to his skull and a brain contusion.

The doctors told him that he had some blood in his brain but he would make a full recovery and be able to play next season. Surprisingly, they said he did not suffer a concussion. However, losing the ability to speak and losing feeling in your arm can’t be a good sign, even if it was temporary. Zuccarello has already been back on the ice but is still seeing a speech therapist.

“The most random and unnecessary story you’ll hear, it contains 1% sports”

Former University of Michigan athletic director David Brandon has been announced as the new chief executive officer of Toys R Us on Tuesday. He resigned back in October after being criticized for the handling of backup quarterback Shane Morris’ concussion as well as some lesser issues such as: sending pithy emails to fans, and changing traditions like student seating seniority.

Well now he’s “head honcho” of the world’s leading seller of toys and baby products. Oh, and in case you were interested, he was also the CEO of Domino’s Pizza for 11 years. Hopefully you can share in a laugh that this was pegged as sports news.

For more of my videos, check out my author page here. Now that you know what my thoughts on it are, let me know what you think in the comments below or send me a tweet on the interwebs @LaurenLapka.

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