J.J. Watt, confirmed brunch lover, eats 9,000 calories a day

J.J. Watt eats an ungodly amount calories per day … and loves brunch.

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It’s pretty much been the summer of J.J. Watt. Dancing with old ladies at basketball games, retreating to cabins, er, chalets in the woods, and now Houston Texans Hard Knocks – it’s been all Swatt, all the time. From a blogger’s perspective (yes, we have feelings too), it’s been a tad bit exhausting.

You’re a nice guy who loves everyone, trains like a non-bankrupt Rocky and may-or-may-not have a social media addiction. We get it.

But this story about Watt’s diet that just slid across the ol’ news desk is one that needs to be told. First off, at peak offseason workout mode, dude crushes roughly 9,000 calories per day. That’s the equivalent of 16 Big Macs, for those of you counting at home. Not that Watt was beasting No. 1’s down at the Golden Arches on West Holcombe everyday.

Per ESPN:

"His calorie count rose to somewhere between 6,000 and 9,000 calories per day, depending on how active he was each day. Watt opted to keep his own meal plan a secret, but it would take about 50 slices of bacon, 20 chicken breasts and 13 whole avocados to reach 9,000 calories."

Basically, if you go to the supermarket and chicken or pork prices have risen a few cents blame Watt. And thanks to the defensive end and Subway’s recent push, we’ll probably run out of avocados by, oh, this year’s playoffs.

The best part of Watt’s quest for 9K is that he’s a confirmed brunch lover.

"“I love brunch,” Watt said. “Brunch is my favorite meal. I went there (to his favorite brunch spot in Wisconsin), had brunch, had a massive potato pancake omelet, which is an omelet inside a potato pancake. Then I had stuffed French toast with berries and stuff. My cheat meals aren’t even that exciting. That was my cheat meal. The omelet is still pretty darn healthy. The stuffed French toast was the cheat meal, but that was delicious.”"

We have this running discussion around the office about just how tough Watt really is. He can obviously handle pain, but in terms of mixing it up with other players, you never really see him get into fights on the field. He doesn’t seem to be one of those certifiably crazy linemen – not a John Randle, for example. Maybe he is, but people just don’t go after him. Well if guys don’t start chirping at him over these brunch comments then all is lost.

Stuffed french toast and omelets are cute and all, but that ain’t brunch. Brunch is bloodies and mimosas. It’s breakfast with spirits. Not quite dinner, not quite lunch, but it’s served with a mellon and a bottle of booze. Can brunch really be your favorite meal if you’re not even doing it properly, not to mention boringly? But that’s a koan for another day.

Accordng to Watt, housing 9,000 calories is tough work. Who knew? All those times you’ve walked past the 24-hour diner at 2 a.m. and reluctantly decided not to go in, well, you were actually taking the easy way out, my friend.

"“It’s literally, if I’m not working out, I eat the whole time I’m not working out,” Watt said. “It’s exhausting. You have to force-feed. You have to force yourself to eat food.”"

So what we’ve learned here today is that J.J. Watt loves brunch, and that the toughest part of his day is unhinging his jaw and mowing down the number of calories that stoners only dream about when getting wild in the kitchen. It’s a tough road, man, but it’s working. How many other cats out there can wolf down half a chicken coop and three hogs per day and still be flanked by ladies like Watt is in the above picture? Somebody’s gotta do it.

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