Miami’s attempt to tamp out FSU Twitter has one fatal flaw

Nov 15, 2014; Miami Gardens, FL, USA; Miami Hurricanes head coach Al Golden (left) shakes hands with Florida State Seminoles head coach Jimbo Fisher (right) after their game at Sun Life Stadium. FSU won 30-26. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports
Nov 15, 2014; Miami Gardens, FL, USA; Miami Hurricanes head coach Al Golden (left) shakes hands with Florida State Seminoles head coach Jimbo Fisher (right) after their game at Sun Life Stadium. FSU won 30-26. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

Miami has created a clever attempt to quiet FSU Twitter


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This past Sunday on Last Week Tonight John Oliver highlighted an ill-conceived app called Peeple. Originally billed as “Yelp for people,” Peeple was a rating system for other human beings. To the creators’ great naiveté, they believed that everyone on Peeple would compliment one another and forge an Internet utopia – obviously not realizing that 98% of online commenters are the scum of the Earth who actively seek to make others’ lives as miserable as their own (that other 2% obviously being the SI and FanSided commenters – we love you!).

Seeing a great opportunity with Oliver’s Scream Into the Void site, the University of Miami decided to run with the idea in the lead up to Saturday’s game against Florida State. In an effort to tame FSU Twitter, UM sent out the following tweet – essentially trolling the trolls – marketing a website called Unsolicited FSU Fan Comments.

The website looks a little like this.

miami fsu twitter website
miami fsu twitter website

After typing whatever potshot at the Canes fills your heart with gold, a goat screams and the website swallows the comment with U pride.

miami fsu comments website
miami fsu comments website

Great concept (tip o’ the cap to John Oliver), so let’s see how well it worked. Here’s the first subtweet for Miami’s pitch.

And there you have it, folks: the fundamental flaw in the operation. FSU Twitter relishes being a group of assholes. That’s their collective role on the Twitterverse. There’s no shame in their game. No running or hiding. It’s carpet bombs and flamethrowers all across the web. It’s not polluting the webspace; it’s holding people accountable.

And really, at this juncture Miami should be much more worried about its fans. There’s a new Fire Al Golden banner flying over games (and sometimes on the interstate) seemingly every week. That FSU fans still have enough care to send unsolicited comments is basically the biggest compliment ‘Noles fans could ever give the Canes.

Miami might want to rebrand their site for all the hateful self-loathing from Canes fans as this season continues to play out in painful fashion.

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