Chandler Parsons roasts twitter user who burned his Mavericks jersey

Mar 20, 2016; Dallas, TX, USA; Dallas Mavericks injured forward Chandler Parsons (25) during a timeout from the game against the Portland Trail Blazers at American Airlines Center. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports
Mar 20, 2016; Dallas, TX, USA; Dallas Mavericks injured forward Chandler Parsons (25) during a timeout from the game against the Portland Trail Blazers at American Airlines Center. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports /
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YOU GUYS. Guess what? Chandler Parsons is totally cool if you want to burn his uniform, specifically his Dallas Mavericks jersey.

We know this because someone recently posted a video of (presumably) themselves torching his Mavericks garb, and he was kind enough to respond:

I have so many questions.

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For starters, what was this guy, Samuel, thinking exactly? News of Parsons’ four-year, $94 million deal with the Memphis Grizzlies broke on July 1, a full 44 days before this jersey-cremating session. Was our buddy Sam just hanging out on Sunday night, sipping on some beers or guzzling some glue, when he suddenly decided to roast a few marshmallows, toast a couple weenies and slow-cook a bunch of polyester? Was this planned weeks in advance, a diabolical uniform-blazing in the dead of summer that he hoped would cut Parsons deepest, long after he thought the criticism of his departure, as if there even was any, had dissipated for good?

And, more importantly, will Sam be burning his Harrison Barnes jersey—everyone in Dallas has one already, right?—if he leaves as a free agent in 2019 or 2020?

Props to Parsons for directly responding to this uniform-burning. Players never address them specifically. They talk about them in the broad scheme of things, but you didn’t see Kevin Durant offering to light the match for those hooligans who set flame to his Oklahoma City Thunder attire.

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Like Parsons said, it’s not his money. (For the record, it might not even be Sam’s, in the event he received it as a gift.) So, in the future, high-profile NBA free agents who skip town should hold jersey-burning drives before they leave and kill two birds with one stone: They interact with the hyperbolic sector of a disgruntled fanbase while also indulging their inner pyromaniac. That’s a win-win.