Blake Griffin and friends are unfriendly

Never be mean to anyone. Don’t do it ever. Jokes don’t exist, and playful banter among friends is a myth. Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan are supposed to be friends with Austin Rivers, but instead they were super mega jerks. They posted pictures on Instagram. How dare they?

How actually dare they? Just seeing Ali G’s face makes my blood run cold.

I’m sure you’ll agree with me because I’m right that that exchange was functional equivalent of kicking a man’s pride in the grundle while perpetrating a particularly aggressive swirlie. That man has a father- a doctor to my knowledge. What will he think? One of my friends had a dad once. Still does, I imagine. Because of that I am the nicest human being alive.

Being the son of a medical professional, Austin certainly knows how to handle pride grundle swirlie injury. There are best practices in place. I’m sure he turned the other cheek.

Oh no. This is a disaster. The walls are collapsing, and the team is tearing at the seams. Chris Paul is thankfully absent from this exchange, but I imagine it’s due to him crying a whole bunch.

I think this is as good an indication as any that whatever Over/Under that Las Vegas gives the Clippers win total for this year will be at least one third of a game too high. I don’t like to give betting advice because gambling is also a myth, but I’m making an exception in this case. Let this being a learning experience in as many ways possible.