Kyle O’Quinn speaks in code and there’s no end in sight

I feel like I need to preface this by saying that I believe Kyle O’Quinn is fine. There was some speculation on Twitter last night that he may have been kidnapped, and he was using some sort of secret messaging system on his public, official Twitter account to surreptitiously call for help. For instance:

I don’t believe kidnapping or any other nefarious activities to be in play. This exercise in acronyms started back on November 11.

Plus I saw him out on the court last night against the Washington Wizards with his two points and three turnovers. I think Kyle O’Quinn is okay. That said, is Kyle O’Quinn okay?

This barrage has been going on for over a week now, and outside of loving his mother…

…and improperly entering the Konami code…

…there has been little else.

It’s hard to know what to do with this information, assuming that this qualifies as information and that there is anything to be done.

We probably should start with O’Quinn’s health, though. Physically, he has not been kidnapped, so that’s an A+. But what about mental health? Some people self-medicate in unhealthy ways, and I don’t want that for anyone. Especially not for a person with a beard.

Not drunk, so that’s also a passing grade, but the accusation of gibberish is laughable to him. There’s purpose to this. Presumably this means something to someone, even if that someone is just him. Senior StepBack Acronym Expert Todd Whitehead did some investigative work:

Human Torch Has Your Wing King On The Barbecue?

Heaven To Hell, Your Works are Known. Ostracize The British?

Hang The Heretics You Worship. Kill Off The Blashphemers?

There are no rabbits in this hole. Only confusion. But thanks for joining me down here. It’s cozy, right?