25 NBA players who can help you survive a zombie apocalypse

9. Dirk Nowitzki

Dirk brings two things to the table. Both of these things could prove valuable. The first is a potential Omer Asik “Try to limit the amount of men you leave behind, but understand that a couple will have to be left behind regardless” type sacrifice. It will be harder than with Omer because Dirk seems like the kind of guy you’d like to keep around, but worldwide undead pandemics don’t offer a lot of easy choices. Death happens. Undeath happens too. Shrug.

The other is a close association with a rich man who has a lot of connections. If there is any owner in the NBA (perhaps Ballmer excluded due to his wearing his eccentricities on his sleeve) who is likely to be prepared with a plan for the event of the apocalypse, it’s Cuban. He probably has a few, some better than others.

He’s got money. He’s got planes. He’s got analytics to back up potential escape routes. He’s got other stuff. He’s gonna make it. He’ll cyberdust some important info out to the people he trusts, and then drink champagne while flying to a private island.

You know he’s bringing Dirk. If Dirk is looking out for you, he might be bringing you too.
There is a downside to this. Access to Cuban’s stuff means probably being around Cuban for long periods of time. Depending on your personality, that might be worse than death. Or maybe you’ll find it illuminating. This is a wild-card situation if there ever was one.