25 NBA players who can help you survive a zombie apocalypse
17. Kyle Korver
From rookie to 13 year veteran. Kyle Korver is a good choice as well. We need all types: big centers, small point guards, and average-height shooting guards. It takes a village to raze the wild.
Crawford is taking care of some of the shooting for us, but Korver will add a different approach than Jamal’s. He’s not flashy and dramatic. He’s stoic and direct. He fits in instead of standing out. He’s an effective cog in the Atlanta wheel when the Atlanta wheel is rolling most true.
But that’s not why we want Kyle. I mean, we want that, but we don’t want just that. Kyle is providing something novel: underwater combat.
Zombies can swim maybe. In minecraft, they go straight through the water. It’s slow, but it can still get you if you’re not paying attention or building an underwater terrarium for your favorite cow without proper caution in dealing with your surroundings. You need to be effective against an onslaught while also being hydrodynamic. I’m sure other people in the NBA can swim, but Korver does water boulder work. He’s more at home in the water than most dolphins.
Plus, what if there are zombie fish too? Have you ever seen a zombie fish? They’re terrifying. Their gills are all musty and their sushi is not nearly worth the price, even from the best super market. You need to account for zombie fish. Korver will account for zombie fish. The zombie fish don’t have a chance. Nor do the turtles.