Michigan Football Unveils Jordan V Retros That Have Superfans Drooling

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Let’s just get this out of the way right off the bat: I love Jordans. Especially the endless array of retro Jordans that take an amazing spin off of sneakers I already adore. There’s glaring proof of that here and here. But there has to be a line somewhere.

Everyone has a line when it comes to shoes or sneakers, it’s just a question of where it falls.

Maybe some people, rather lame people, play things close to the vest and call it quits at one pair of sneakers and one pair of dress shoes. Maybe others hit pause when a pair of sneakers include multiple zippers or house neon lights on the bottom.

Well, one of my lines is distinctly drawn at owning sneakers that feature the logo of a freaking college or pro sports team.

It just can’t happen. Unless of course, you’re still openly picking your nose in public and farting at the dinner table. In that case, carry on sweet prince.

Anyhow, when I saw @HailEquipment’s tweet that offered a peek at Michigan’s new customized Jordan Vs, I gave it a quick nod that was promptly followed by an eye roll.

You know why? Because that intrusive “M” absolutely, ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT sucks. Never has a matching blue Sharpie been needed quite this badly.

I’m telling you, put your finger on the screen to cover up the “M” and tell me this design doesn’t become significantly cleaner and thus, suddenly amazing.

And really, if you actually needed that stark, glowing “M” on the side to figure out that these are in fact “Michigan Jordans” then there’s a healthy chance you’re the Ralph Wiggum of your “squad.”

Having said that, it was an awesome gesture by Nike to gift the football team with these retros a week or so shy of its bowl game against Florida State.

Yes, Harbaugh’s boys are understandably elated.

https://twitter.com/UMichFootball/status/811259648959352834

Still, if you happen to be a diehard Michigan fan who finds themselves picturing these retros on your own feet, you probably also have a pair of these too.

via Etsy.com

Whatever works, man.

Whatever. Works.

*****

For more scorching takes with extra sizzle, follow Tim Ryan on Twitter and Instagram.