One crazy trade every NBA team should make

26. Brooklyn Nets

Just trade them back. Go back in time and trade them back. All the excitement for Deron Williams, and Kevin Garnett, and Paul Pierce, and Andrei Kirilenko, and Joe Johnson was a waste of time. Do you remember being excited about that team before that team happened to itself? Good. Now take some time out of your day and regret it.

I’ll wait.

Let the pain sink through your pores, into your bloodstream.

Your bones are heavy and brittle.

The slightest wind can snatch your tired soul.

Cool. Now that you feel worse about yourself, think about how the Nets feel. The following is a list of things the Nets have to be hopeful about:

• Maybe time is infinite, and, over a an infinite timeline, everything with any odds of happening can and will happen.
• .1 x 10^9000 > 0
• One day we all die

But odds are that odds are odds. Our tiny fleck of existence is generally subject to them, and freak occurrences don’t happen often. Brooklyn needs a few of those in sequence, and that’s like, even rarer. It’s safe to say the Nets aren’t getting better anytime in the near future.

So let’s try the near past. Let’s go back in time. Let’s put Jay Z back in charge, and not worry about whether a Russian billionaire is going to get married, and let Joe Johnson make his eighth All-Star Game. Let’s go back to then and do something different.

Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce in 2011 for everything they gave to the Celtics