NBA players react to the DeMarcus Cousins trade

DeMarcus Cousins woke up in New Orleans today and realized that he’d be waking up there many more times. This is assuming that he didn’t fly back to Sacramento last night. And also that he’s up by now. And also that he didn’t stay in a hotel outside of New Orleans. Also that he’s aware that the trade happened. New Orleans does weird things to the senses.

But let’s say all these assumptions prove true. Boogie’s life is different now, and the life of every NBA player is different now. When things happen in peoples’ lives, they often want to talk about it. I had chocolate milk for breakfast today. My sister is in from Shanghai this week. Hi, Beth!

See what I mean? NBA players had thoughts on the trade. Here’s the most important one:

How hot are they?

I can do you one better.

https://twitter.com/TwoShotOne/status/833542413486526464

This might be a scary time for anyone who cares to sidle their way into the New Orleans Pelican paint. Hot Boy 1 and Hot Boy 2 might put you down for three. Believe me — players in the NBA know this. Just check out this montage of disbelief:

https://twitter.com/BPortistime/status/833539226188779521

It’s real. It’s damn real. Too real even for a virtual reality:

What about Isaiah Whitehead. Does he think something?

https://twitter.com/IsaiahW_15/status/833540969228275713

He does. Eyes and everything.

This is bonkers. This is a brouhaha. Honestly, this is a bonafide bonus Boogie bonanza boom bomb benefit bowling alley.

That’s just from the outside looking in. Other players are on the inside looking out. Or from the bottom looking up. Whatever perspective you want to attach here probably works. But these are people, and this is what they do. What they do just got harder.

I’d expect the #SacramentoProud tag to be a completely miserable place to look through right now. I was wrong. It’s only about 65 percent misery. Give it a shot if you feel like short-circuiting your emotions.

Sacramento is sad, the NBA is confused and the Boys are Hot 2017. It’s probably best to end this on the tweets that Spencer Dinwiddie curated for your enjoyment because he’s the best.

https://twitter.com/BleacherReport/status/833553342072705024

Heh. That’s a joke about genitalia. We’re going to be all right.