The 10 weirdest NBA timeout entertainment spectacles

4. At least there’s a nice micro-brewery scene

This is only a minute and a half of what I remember being a four hour long sequence. I can’t remember exactly. I think at some point my soul left my body. If you see it, let me know.

I don’t understand.

What is this? What am I supposed to make of it? It’s not easily categorized. It’s not anything.

It can’t entertainment because I’m not entertained. Being confused is not the same as being enthused. The weird camera work and the odd lighting is disconcerting. It’s like 90’s anti-drug VHS creative direction. It’s going to get me addicted to sitting like those videos got me addicted to marijuana.

I think it could be a promotion for a workout, but then what are the people in the arena meant to do? Are they meant to just watch? Are they meant to leave? There’s not enough space between seats to stand up and flail your arms out and spin around in place. Someone is going to get hurt, and it could be you.

The seventh inning stretch in baseball at least doesn’t have choreography. There’s freedom to it, choice. You can adapt and react and then sit down feeling accomplished. This offers no such option.

All it is is a thing that happened, and the fact it happened with these many people complicit in front of a crowd who paid to be there leads me to assume it happened for a purpose. In someone’s mind, there was reason for it.

But there isn’t. All that’s left to realize is that someone with the position and power to organize this much human action is acting without reason, and that’s unsettling. Let’s forget it ever happened.