NBA Tank Rankings — it persists

By Matt Rutkowski | Mar 8, 2017

Jun 23, 2016; New York, NY, USA; Skal Labissiere (Kentucky) walks off stage after being selected as the number twenty-eight overall pick to the Phoenix Suns in the first round of the 2016 NBA Draft at Barclays Center. Mandatory Credit: Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports /

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Some teams are bad. Other teams are worse. The NBA Draft is based on this. So it goes.

I’m offering science today. Every so often in life you’ll see a ranking system advertised as “rigorously unscientific” or something similar. If you’re like me, seeing something like that turns your blood to bile and concrete obscenities fire from every orifice of your face. That’s life in 2017.

Personally, I’m tired of the destruction and withering looks. I like my stars uninjured, my coffee lukewarm, and my rankings scientific.

Unfortunately, I’m not very good at science. My science fair project in honors high school chemistry was “look at me. I can turn on this light bulb.” I didn’t win.

But I’ll do my best – for you, for myself, and for Mr. Barker. I’m sorry for putting that bottle of hand sanitizer on the centrifuge to see if it would make a liquid gel tornado. I’ll never do it again.

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