Wait, when did Andre Drummond start rapping?

Every day, a very specific question about Andre Drummond is asked. For example, today is a day.

It’s constant. It follows him everywhere. The fact that it doesn’t is immaterial.

This is what people want to know. Following the question with “lol” might seem mean-spirited or even cruel, but Jordan Adams deserves the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’s laughing with Andre, not at him. Maybe Andre Drummond rapping is funny on it’s own in some way I refuse to recognize. Games are fun, and basketball is a game.

“But is it a laughing matter? How seriously should we be taking this? Moreover, when did this start?” you might be asking yourself. Well, it started at approximately 4:16PM on March 10th. In the age of Twitter and internet and those dogs with wings that carry letters through half dimensions, that’s basically an eternity.

https://twitter.com/AndreDrummond/status/840310357574995969

Don’t tell me what to do. I’ll scream if I want to scream. I’ll panic if I want to panic. Andre Drummond has been on a lightning-fast trajectory to the stars since getting third place in last year’s dunk contest. With fame comes the distraction of new opportunities and rhyming words in a catchy rhythm. These things can take over a man’s soul.

I’m going to need it to be bad. Tell me it’s a cross between DMX and a 12-year-old me pretending to be DMX by rapping the censored version of “Party Up” including the dog noises and yelling “WHAT” intermittently.

I don’t think I was far off, honestly. I mean, that wasn’t horrible. On a scale of bad to good, I’d give it about a 41.2%.

I think it’s safe to assume this will remain a hobby. Andre Drummond has never lied to me, and sweating emojis inspire confidence.

Swearing is bad though. He should stop that.